Logan's Birthday and Good TV

Before I get into anything else, today is Logan's birthday and Shannon has gone and outdone herself with his cake. They were looking through the Family Fun magazine that we get and they saw the "Up" cake. Logan loved it and looked like a pretty simple thing to do. So Shannon set out to get it made. And here is the final result...



Pretty cool huh! As with anything that is worth something in life it ended up being a little more challenging that originally thought, but not too bad. So major kudos to Shannon on a fantastic job.

On a completely unrelated subject, life just continues to move at the speed of light sometimes and it is hard to believe that we are almost to Thanksgiving. Sometimes I have trouble remembering if I am coming or going. But during those moments when the day slows down and nothing is really required of Shannon or me, we have been enjoying watching our favorite show together. Of course I speak of "Lost". We have been enjoying it so much that I, of course, had to stop and try to figure out a countdown list of my favorite shows of all time. Remember back when I told you I was a freak about countdowns? You may have thought I was exagerating. Bet you are rethinking that now. So here we go. The 5 greatest television shows ever according to Ryan Rapier:

Ok just before we get to that, I will present the also rans. Those shows that are very close to the top 5, but just fell short. They are:

The Office
Seinfeld
Voyagers(Little known show from the early 80s about a guy and a boy who drop into historical situations and have to fix whatever is going wrong. Haven't seen it since 1983 so it is possible the acting is atrocious and it isn't near as good as I remember, but there was nothing so fascinating to a 9 year old who loves history as having an omni that would send you anywhere in time you wanted. Awesome!!! Little known trivia: The star of this show, Jon-Erik Hexum died a year after this show was cancelled when he was working on the set of another show and in a moment of boredom, put a prop Magnum .44 to his head and pulled the trigger. It seems that ammunition they put in prop guns will not harm someone a few yards away, but the impact when it is placed directly next to the temple will shatter your skull. Keep that in your valuable knowledge file in case you should ever need it.)
Psych
Fantasy Island (Come on!!! Stop rolling your eyes. Ok I am listing this more on the idea than the actual show because I don't remember it that well. But an island where you can go and have your fantasies come true only to find out that maybe you didn't want them in the first place? That is awesome!! Add in Ricardo Montalban in a white tux with a midget named Tattoo who rings a bell and yells "De plane, De plane" in a squeaky little voice who also happens to wear a matching white tux. They really should redo this show. I know they tried once, but try again for heaven sakes. This is a no brainer to me.)

Ok, now to the top 5:

5. The Amazing Race



This show is a dream come true to anyone who would love to travel around the world and experience things they would never have the opportunity to experience. The premise is 11 teams of two race around the world in different stages. At the end of each stage, the last team to arrive gets booted from the show. During each stage, they are required to complete certain tasks associated with the part of the world they are in. Some of the things they have required:

Bungee Jumping from the second highest bungee jumping point in the world off a bridge over a ravine in New Zealand; frying up and eating an entire Ostrich egg; plowing a muddy field in Vietnam with a real water buffalo; rappelling up the Great Wall of China; and unrolling massive hay bales in search of a clue in Sweden.

That last one doesn't sound too intimidating, but one team arrived in second or third place and then spent over 8 hours looking through hay bales that weigh over 200pounds. Fascinating television.

Shannon and I have talked about what it would be like to go on this show together. I am convinced it could possibly be the end of our marriage, but if we survived, that would be one heck of a memory.

4. Maverick



Now I know what you are thinking...or at least one of two things you are thinking. First, for anyone under 40, you are saying, "Wait, that doesn't count, it is a movie." If you are over 40, you are saying, "Wait, you are way too young to remember that show." You are both right and wrong. First, yes it is a movie, but it is based on a 1960s television show with James Garner as Brett Maverick. That is why it was so cool that he was the (SPOILER WARNING) dad in the movie. But I am actually referring to a one season version of Maverick where they tried to reboot it in the early 80's. The premise was that Maverick came to a small town and ended up winning a saloon and ranch house that tied him down to this small town. He of course then set about trying to run all kinds of shennanigans under the nose of the wise sherriff played by Ed Bruce (short lived country singer) who usually was on to what he was trying to do. Why is this show #4. Well, it inspired my play time and halloween costume for the next 5 years. Just to show how much I loved this show that wasn't on for hardly a minute, there were a lot of good movies to come out during my mission which took place between 92 and 94. When I got home, I cared about only one. Maverick!!! I would give anything to find that one season on DVD. And yet I wouldn't. It probably sucks pretty bad. And I don't really want those memories ruined. Because...I really LOVED that show. Because of that show, James Garner is still one of my all time favorite actors, hands down.

3. Remington Steele



Me and probably about four other people own every episode of this series that ran from 1982 to 1987. Just as with James Garner, I have a total man crush on Pierce Brosnan because of this show. I lived for Friday nights at 9:00. I wanted to be him and I wanted to grow up and date her. (I would be curious to know how many pre-pubescent boys had a serious crush on Stephanie Zimbalist in 1985. I will be willing to bet it wasn't many.) I am somewhat embarrassed to admit this, but I had secret dreams of being disfigured in a car wreck and having to have plastic surgery that made me look just like Pierce Brosnan, and of course they would have to replace my larynx with one that provided me a British accent. My understanding of human anatomy was not fully realized at this point as you can see. Although the series ended very disappointingly, I loved that show. Now that I own them, I see that they were a tad cheesy...ok really cheesy...ok what do you want, an admission that the sets were built on an old Velveeta factory? Fine, I admit it. But unlike other 80s dramas, I still like to watch them and he still looks like my hero. Remington Steele and Indiana Jones. I get a little wistful that I didn't end up like either one of them, because at 11 years old, that is all I ever wanted.

2. Frasier



The debate over the greatest sit-com of all time will generally include the following suspects: I Love Lucy, MASH, Cheers, Seinfeld, The Cosby Show and The Mary Tyler Moore Show. I submit they are all wrong. Dead Wrong. Frasier, which ran from 1993 - 2004 is hands down the funniest show ever made. A disappointing episode of Frasier is funnier than the best episode of 98% of all sit-coms ever made. I am told to think that 2 and a half men is a comedy classic? That show couldn't slop Frasier's hogs. Obviously that is a lesson in irony as Frasier would never have hogs. But Frasier is one of the few shows that would dare to use the word irony. It is one of the few shows that can get a good joke out of the word crepe. Frasier was a thinking man's (or woman's) show and it never talked down to its audience. If you didn't get a joke that was based on something that was intellectual...Tough! Go learn about that subject and come back later. Then you will find it funny. I own every episode of this show as well and I have seen them all at least twice, with many episodes having been viewed in the double digits. I still laugh. Every time.

1. Lost



I can't say it any more strongly...This is the Best Show ever put on Television!!! If you want, I can add 50 more exclamation points to drive the point home. Nothing drives me more crazy than when I mention the show Lost and someone will say, "Isn't that that show that is something like Survivor?" AAAAAAAGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! No, it is nothing like Survivor. It is the best written show of all time. It is highly complex and it is not a show that you want to just suddenly tune and see what is going on. You have to start from the first episode and watch them all...or you will be entirely lost. But trust me it is worth it. Shannon and I are watching them for the second time and there are so many things that we missed the first time. That is good TV. And for those out there who think television doesn't deal with religious themes enough...Lost is for you. It is chock full of religious ideas, themes and questions. To those who won't watch it because, "I don't like to have to think too hard about my television watching." Well, this show isn't for you, but it is certainly your loss.

Now a couple of warnings. It is violent. There are sex scenes, but they are very few and far between and I have seen worse on PG rated movies. I am not justifying it, (or maybe I am, I don't know) I am just saying, sex is not a driving force in this show. Violence on the other hand, is. It is pretty intense. But the beauty of this show is that they can have plot points that are pretty far out there, but you accept them because they never lose focus of the human angle of the show. The show is about the people. And trust me, you come to care about these people. I have a feeling it will be like finishing a great book when this show ends. I will mourn its passing. It is just that good.

There is no other point to this post. That is basically it. I suppose from a journal perspective, this will give my posterity an insight into who I was. With that in mind, maybe I should remove that stuff about a man crush on Pierce Brosnan. Nothing like thinking, "Wow, great great grandpa Rapier was completely insane. And who would name a child Pierce?"

How To Be A Hero And A Villian At The Same Time

I don't really feel like I watch a lot of TV. By some standards, yeah, I probably watch too much. By other standards, I don't even begin to scratch the surface. But either way, we try to limit the number of shows that we watch because when I find a show I like, I am loyal to a fault. So loyal that time and space mean nothing. So that brings us to last night. Last night, the Visitors arrived. For my wife, this meant exactly that...nothing. For me, it was huge. The Visitors hadn't come for over 26 years and when I saw they were coming again, it set off a wave of nostalgia a mile high. For those who haven't figured it out yet, I am of course referring to the election results that actually had Republicans winning something on Fox News. Ok, just kidding, I am actually referring to the premier of V. See, I can actually remember 1983 when V came on and I had to fight and scream to get to watch some of it. In fact, I missed the first few episodes of the mini-series because my parents thought it was too grown up for my 10 year old self. My best friend Jared got to watch it and I was so jealous as he would fill me in on all of the amazing details of Diana and The Resistance...OOOOOHHHH I get chills just thinking about how much I had to see this show and plotting how to get my parents to let me in on this boob tube nirvana that was going on without me. Needless to say, I finally got to see the final episodes.

(Two things as an aside. First, it is interesting in retrospect how hollow my mother's objections to V really were. First off, the scary and violent cards were pretty much all she had, but the reality I can see now is that my mother hated all things Sci-fi. She just never enjoyed them. I think a lot of her misgivings had more to do with how much she didn't want to watch it but knowing she would have to just in case it was too violent. As it turned out, I missed the one truly "graphic" moment when Diana, the leader of the Visitors, unhinged her jaw and ate a hampster whole. Beyond that, pretty tame. I was bitter for months that I missed the hampster moment. AAAHHHH the things that are important to a 10 year old. Second aside thing, they have been replaying the old V miniseries on the ScyFy network leading up to this new version debuting. Wow, that was some pretty crappy TV. In fact, watching shows from the 80s is really sad because you see just how lousy the a)acting, b)special effects, c)acting and d)writing for these shows really were. If you don't believe me, go back and watch old episodes of some of your favorites like The A Team or The Dukes of Hazzard or The Greatest American Hero sometime. Once you have done that, come back and try arguing with me. (An aside to the aside: I recognize that an argument could be made for Remington Steele to be on that list, but I LOVED that show and refuse to accept its eightiesness. So don't go there.) How did those of us growing up in the eighties ever survive some of that stuff? We may never know.)

So all week, I have been pretty excited for V to come back with all of its lizard glory. As it turned out, I was pleased with the result. They did a good job with the story and also did a good job of taking a good idea and completely reworking it into a promising series. I hear a good comparison is what they did with Battlestar Gallactica (another old show you could go back and watch and then try to defend as good TV between dry heaves) but as I have not seen the new Battlestar, I can't comment. Anyway, that isn't so much my point.

Shannon was gone to Messiah practice (yep it is that time of year again already) and so I was home alone with the kids when it came on. The boys and Kate were happily playing in their room and so just Abby and I were in the front room. I asked her if she wanted to watch a possibly scary show. If you know Abby at all, you know the answer was immediately yes. So she watched it with me. She loved it! It was really cool to watch this through her eyes because she kept asking if the Visitors were really good guys or not. At the age of 36, it is nice to be reminded that there is an age where you can still be surprised by certain things. It is an age so far removed from my own that my bones ache while thinking about this simply out of principal. Anyway, when the big reveal of the lizard skin underneath the human exterior finally happened, she was so excited and kept saying over and over..."I am so telling all my friends that I got to watch this show!" It was cool. I got to be the cool dad. I even helped her with her kitchen cleaning duties so that she could watch it with me. I like being the cool dad every once in a while. It doesn't happen much anymore because of 1) her age and 2) too often I am "grouchy, tired, constantly nagging about cleaning up after herself" dad. So we had a good time and she was super excited for next week.

Well, when Shannon got home, I had had some time to think about what I had done. I knew if she would have been home, she would have talked me out of letting her watch it. So when she got back, she just rolled her eyes at me for my immature parenting moment. After Abby was in bed, she asked me, "What are you going to do when this show gets sexual or too violent? Because, you know it will." I think my stalling tactic of not saying anything and pretending that she hadn't asked that question went pretty well. The problem is I knew she was right, and I didn't really have an answer. I hope they don't do what just about every other show does these days, but it probably will. I guess I will live in denial until then and then just have the remote handy and ready to go to provide editing as needed. (The really funny part of this is that I would have been much more concerned letting my daughter watch the "Family Friendly" show that came on right after V...of course I am referring to Dancing With The Nearly Naked Stars.) But I didn't know how to explain to my wife that I was somewhat living vicariously through my daughter. As she sat there excited to see something "cool" and "grown up", I was taken back to watching the original V. Back when I knew aliens coming to earth with the purpose of harvesting humans for food would never happen...but what if it did? That would be so cool to join the resistance and fight those alien bastages. Today...I just know it would never happen...but if it did...being responsible for four young kids takes all the cool out of it. I would just wet my pants.

For an hour, I was ten again and being introduced to good story telling (not the kind you find on Zach and Grody or any other Disney Channel disaster) and the effect it can have on someone was real again. I don't know if V will be a great memory for my daughter when she is 36, but watching it with her will be for me for the foreseeable future.

So, sorry dear...but it was lizard aliens posing as humans. You just can't beat lizard aliens!