Utah Trip Day 5: 7 Feet Really Means 7 Feet

Day five was the second non-major travel day of our vacation. And not a minute too soon.

8:02 a.m. - The little boy with the little bladder cracks open the door to our room (OUR ROOM! OUR OWN SEPARATE ROOM! More beautiful words have not been spoken.) and slips into the bathroom to go pee. Probably a good thing he did because the threat of missing out on the free breakfast looms over us yet again and so our day begins.

8:52 a.m. - After just short of using a cattle prod to rush and herd the family down to breakfast to beat the 9:00 a.m. deadline, we realize this hotel leaves it out until 9:30. This left me the opportunity to have both literal and figurative egg on my face.

8:54 a.m. - Try breakfast enchiladas for the first time. The fact that I am trying a mexican food dish at a free hotel breakfast in Utah as opposed to Arizona does not bode well for this entree...and...they are not so good. Oh well, at least they are filling and there were other food options as well.

10:03 a.m. - Head out to ride the light rail to temple square. Think back to our last post regarding what time Kate went to bed. Add to this that she hasn't had a regular nap now in four days and she was most unceremoniously awakened this morning loooong before she would have preferred. Two days previously we got an appetizer of what we could expect with this combination. Today she is ready to give us the full course meal. (How about a little recognition for a well played restaurant analogy right there. Not everyone could have pulled that off, but I just did.) Kate is full on screaming at anyone who dares look at her. She is not above full on screaming at people who don't look at her, but it is guaranteed if you should mistakenly glance her way. Also, she has really taken to the phrase "Stop It" delivered in a gruff nasty sounding voice that reminds me of that scene in Teen Wolf where Michael J. Fox's eyes go red in the convenience store and he says, "I want a keg of beer." If you haven't seen that movie, this is not a recommendation, but if you have, you get a pretty clear idea of what Kate is sounding like this morning.

10:17 a.m. - Step off the light rail and begin walking to Temple Square. It already feels like we might be the subjects of a reality program with the following premise: Take an unsuspecting tourist family and place them in a climate controlled bubble that will remain around them where ever they go. Next, turn up the heat and humidity and see how long it takes before they begin to go all Gladiator on each other. If that had actually been the case, it would have been a short show. As we step off the train, I have to ask Abby for the 6th time to please not look at, speak to or in any way acknowledge that Kate exists. Parents, you know how you sound when you ask a child to do something for the sixth time. Not pretty. I actually felt very bad for Abby. All she wanted to do was help and console her little sister. Unfortunately, little sister was having none of that.

10:32 a.m. - Visit the Tabernacle. They had the organ playing and it got extremely loud. I am pretty sure it scared Braden and Logan.



10:41 a.m. - Go to the North Visitor Center and visit the Christus. Big hit! Then we head downstairs to see all that is down there. Braden, Abby, Logan and Shannon took their time and really enjoyed the different exhibits. Things with Kate were not improving so we sat down and tried to weather it out. In retrospect, I am sure it would have been funny to observe if one were not intimately involved. But Kate would get down and be ok for a moment or two or just cry a little bit and everyone coming by would comment how cute she was. (As an admittedly biased parent, I have to admit she is pretty darn cute most of the time.) As the parent at wits end with her, I wanted to glare and stare down all of these people making those comments. My thoughts were something like, "You think she's cute? Take for five minutes and let's talk again." But I would just smile and say thank you. I think one old man recognized my beaten, exasperated, "just shoot me now and put me out of my misery" look because he winked at me and then chuckled to himself as he walked past. Finally, I get up with her and went to the little quasi theater that shows a movie on the welfare system of the Church and let her lay on my shoulder while I watched the presentation. I think she might of fallen asleep...until of course Abby found us and for some reason felt the need to pat her back and speak to our sleeping baby. Now I was ready to give both of my daughters to passing individuals.



11:35 a.m. - Kate has now become white noise so we decide to go to the Conference Center and take a tour. I will now try harder to be more compassionate to those parents who seem completely oblivious to their out of control child. I had joined their ranks and found denial to be a pretty nice place to be.

11:40 a.m. - Begin tour of Conference Center. Definitely one of the highlights of my vacation experience. That is an amazing building. We got lucky (as did everyone else coming for a tour that day) to be in a tour all by ourselves.

11:47 a.m. - Highlight of the tour for the kids: The light from the skylights of the Conference Center were making rainbows on the seats. The tour guide let them go sit in those seats and the kids were "rainbowed".

11:49 a.m. - Clay Christiansen is practicing the organ while we are there. Only in Utah would a young family get excited about a middle aged(?) man playing the organ.

11:54 a.m. - The artwork is absolutely stunning. However, can't help but wonder how long it will take our tour guide to realize my wife and I are going to be the only ones interested in the art work. She's a trooper though. She keeps trying to get the kids interested. Alas, they are for more excited about the fact that they can walk behind the busts of the prophets which I am pretty sure they aren't supposed to do.

12:06 p.m. - Mild irritation. We have stopped and taken a good amount of time at just about every painting in the building regardless of interest level from us, but when we hit the room that has all of the paintings of past members of the twelve and I get excited to look for different Apostles, suddenly our tour guide takes on my persona and it is all about making time.

12:13 p.m. - Our sweet tour guide just can't figure out our camera. The picture below is the best of several of her efforts.



12:19 p.m. - Find myself in the mountains in a meadow. It truly feels that way. The roof of the Conference Center was simply one of the most amazing things I have seen. A little sad we came too late to see it all in bloom. But still.



1:03 p.m. - Meet Jerry back at the hotel to go to lunch at The Red Iguana Too or Two, I am not sure. Neat little Mexican restaurant that actually seemed to be on target with actual Mexican food. That would be a first in SLC for me. Very good meal. I had tacos with spicy beef that were served in soft taco shells spiced with Cinnamon. It has been almost a month and I can't decide if I would ever get them again. I loved the meat, but not crazy about the shells.



2:39 p.m. - We are rushing back to the Planetarium right down the road from our hotel because a 3D Imax movie about the Hubble Telescope is going to start at 2:45. We are in the parking garage and we are going to make it until...why would anyone go into a parking garage that has signs that say 7' Clearance and the signs are at 7 feet so if you are taller than seven feet you are hitting the signs? That was the question I wanted to ask the guy right in front of us. He had a pickup with a camper shell. Had that been it, he would have been fine. Unfortunately for him, the spare tire he had strapped to the top of the camper shell is what did him in. We followed him at a very slow rate of speed and watched as the tire would hit each sign and move it up out of the way. Then, he got to the point where the pipes of the garage were right behind the sign and it was all over. I'm freaking out because we now have two minutes until our movie starts and this guy has completely blocked the road in a parking garage. It almost felt a little clausterphobic. Thankfully, he could back up to one side and let people past. I felt a small tinge of sadness for that man. He was bound to have a very long afternoon. That was until he spoke. He said, "I don't know why they would let me in if I had something over 7 feet." Umm...aren't those what the signs are for? We move on.

2:46 p.m. - Make it into movie right as the presenter is speaking. That movie was AWESOME! Highly recommended. Kate did very well and seemed to be fascinated through the whole show. Logan sat next to me and kept reaching out to try and grab at things on the screen.

4:00 p.m. - We go to another show in dome theater. Pales in comparison to Hubble movie and Jerry and I both fall asleep. I mean reclining chairs, darkness and scientific explanations of...stuff? I had no chance.

5:03 p.m. - Spent way too much time in the gift shop. They had every cool toy you can imagine. They even had the old metal slinkies...Yeah I know. They also had a massive marble track that was like three stories tall. I think Logan spent over 1/2 an hour just watching that thing go.

5:42 p.m. - Jerry offers to take kids for ice cream while Shannon and I look in a store or two. I immediately start the paperwork for Sainthood for him.

5:58 p.m. - Kids play in the Centennial Fountain and get soaking wet. It actually sounds like a pretty good idea.

6:09 p.m. - Jerry, Shannon and the kids start the walk back to the hotel while I go get the van. Interesting thing I learned. If you refer to Salt Lake City as just Salt Lake and combine it with Utah and then shorten it to just their abbreviations and place a comma between them but no space, you get SL,UT. Now imagine the comma very small. Isn't that nice? I learned this because two teenage girls that couldn't have been more than three or four years older than my daughter were wearing shirts that had this unique tourism marketing campaign on them. Downtown Salt Lake is not the SLC I remember from my youth.

6:37 p.m. - Jerry, Shannon and the kids swim while I play the role of stick in the mud and don't swim. I have played pack mule for four days and I would just like to relax. Fortunately, no one gives me too much grief about this. Again, thanks to Jerry for running interference for me.





8:00 p.m. - Kirt comes and we have pizza and visit.

9:34 p.m. - After all the excitement of the day, kids are ready for bed before 10 for the first time all vacation. It still takes a little bit, but everyone is down and tonight, Kate is with the sleeping program. Shannon and I should have just gone to sleep ourselves, but Seinfeld was on. Then another one. Then The Nanny.

11:30 p.m. - There is no doubt Shannon and I will hate ourselves in the morning.

Utah Trip Day 4: Doggy Wheelchairs Kid, They're Gonna Be Big!

Day 4 of our trip to Utah was another travel day as we made it to our ultimate destination: Salt Lake City! As such, this may not have been the most interesting day of the trip, but hey, at least it will be a shorter post right? We'll see.

7:53 a.m. - The morgue otherwise known as Room 202 at the Comfort Suites in St. George is silent. Nothing moves. Oh how we wish that we could sleep for another 2 hours. But the free breakfast again awaits and we must not miss that. So I get up.

8:40 a.m. - We make it down to breakfast. Not all of us are presenting ourselves in the final version we will go with today, but we are close enough. As with the day before, breakfast selections are awesome. Convince Logan to try blueberry syrup (Logan's first instinct is to hate everything up front. That is also his second, third and fourth instinct as well as hamburger, peanut butter and at times cheese have found their way onto his banned substance list). He likes it. Of course I told him it was candy flavor. I think that helped.

8:46 a.m. - They have The Price is Right on in the dining area. It has been how many years since Drew Carey took over for Bob Barker? And he still sucks. Based on his emotional reactions, I couldn't tell you if a contestant has just won a car or been kicked in the groin. It is time to start a petition to save this American icon and see if we can't get a better host.

9:32 a.m. - I am now loading the van for the third time in four days. I believe that we are starting to suffer from too many people in too small an area syndrome. Shannon told the kids to dump the ice bucket. They do...over the side of the second floor railing, as opposed to say...the sink.

9:36 a.m. - Hear my children screaming as if one of them is facing imminent death. Find they are actually fighting over how they are going to play on the elevator. We discuss how no one is going to be playing on the elevator.

9:48 a.m. - We are ready to go. Except I have not yet had a Dr. Pepper. Therefore even though we are only down 1\16 a tank of gas, we will be stopping for gas.

10:01 a.m. - After the previous day's experience of carrying Kate everywhere, we both agree that buying a cheap stroller from Target is in order. Shannon wants to stop and do it now. I want to get on the road because we are 20 minutes behind the schedule I arbitrarily decided upon in my head that morning and we have to make the time up. We both express our opinions on the matter and it ends with me saying, "I just don't want to stop! Period!!!" Shannon counters with, "And I do. And that is the difference."

10:08 a.m. - We pull into Target in St. George and Shannon runs in to purchase a new cheap stroller.

10:16 a.m. - Now we are on our way. As we are getting ready to get back on the freeway, we see a restaurant called Chuck-a-Rama. Shannon makes a good point that maybe a restaurant owner would want to rethink that name. I understand it makes reference to pioneer or old west times and the Chuck Wagon. However, with each passing year, more and more people are unaware of that connection. They are probably however, aware of the phrase to up-chuck or to chuck your lunch. We're just saying.

11:32 am. - Hit first section of freeway where they are experimenting with a new speed limit of 80 miles an hour. As a male form of the species who is obsessed with making good time from one point to another, I have just reached a new level of nirvana. However, I discovered that I have my own personal speed limit. It is 83 mph. I wasn't aware of this before, but as I was cruising down the I-15 at this breakneck speed, I realized, I'm good. Part of me was disappointed in myself.

11:49 a.m. - Stop in Meadow, UT for gas and bathroom breaks. In the window of the Conoco where we stopped was the following sign: Fresh Doughnuts and Cheese Curd Today. I can honestly say I had never really put those two together. Maybe that is my loss. It still remains a loss I am willing to live with.

1:58 p.m. - Drive into Provo, UT. We drive by BYU, the MTC and the Provo temple. My kids' reaction? "Dad, why wouldn't you stop at that water park we passed five minutes ago?"

2:11 p.m. - Get minorly lost in Provo. It isn't that we don't know where we are. It is that we can't believe that in a decent sized college town, we can't find a single decent place to eat. I know they probably exist, but they certainly eluded us. We drive frantically by a KFC hoping Abby doesn't see it. She loves that place. Shannon and I and our digestive tracts? Not so much. We finally decide upon Burger King. Ugh. But wait, all is not lost. They are having a Twilight Saga: Eclipse promotion. I have to wonder when we got to the point in our society when we started thinking it was ok to give kids' meals to 4 and 5 year olds that promote a PG-13 movie that centers on a love triange between a human idiot (sorry Bella fans), a vampire and a werewolf who is 17(18?) years old but has 40+ year old women gushing over his beautiful abs which are never covered by a shirt. It almost made me wish for Sponge Bob Squarepants. And I don't say that lightly.

3:40 p.m. - Pull into SLC. I have to unplug Abby's movie (she was on her 3rd viewing of Percy Jackson) to use the GPS. She was highly incensed. I really should get my priorities straight.

4:01 p.m. - Check into our hotel. Can't figure out how to make the elevator work. There are few things in this life that can make you feel more stupid than having your family of six and all of your luggage blocking a perfectly good elevator all because you can't figure out how to make the elevator work. I finally jerked all of our family off the elevator along with our luggage to recompose myself. I watch the folks that had been waiting for us get on and use their room key card to activate the elevator. I feel incredibly stupid.

5:00 p.m. - Discover our hotel not only has free breakfast, but has free dinner M-Th as well. SCORE!!!

5:43 p.m. - Decide to set off for Temple Square. Jerry informs us it is 6 blocks away. Do we want to drive? He seems skeptical when we choose to walk. That would be because 6 downtown SLC blocks are much larger than 6 downtown Phoenix blocks. Much Larger. And all uphill. I have to admit that I am stupid at this point as my wife was clearly right about just getting the stroller in St. George. Of course I don't say this out loud and my wife is wonderful enough to not rub it in...too much.

5:57 p.m. - Walk by Jerry and Kirt's condo building. It is a refurbished tire factory. That is a common trend in urban areas to refurbish industrial buildings into apartments or condos. I think Thatcher should get in on this trend. We could take Wesley Taylor dorms and refurbish them into something livable.

6:16 p.m. - Arrive at Temple Square. We are in SLC. At six o'clock at night. And I feel like I am walking across a frying pan. How did we manage to pick the one week where the whole country is in the grips of a heat wave to come to SLC. If we were in Phoenix, we would not have noticed any difference. But here, I had higher expectations. We look around and get the kids excited to come back the next day. Unfortunately, we now have to figure out how to get back to our hotel, which probably means walking. Thankfully Jerry tells us that the light rail in downtown is free. We are so there.











6:39 p.m. - Arrive back at Jerry's apartment. Braden immediately zeroes in on the fact that Jerry and Kirt have Super Mario Galaxy 2. At this point, we say goodbye to Braden. Jerry introduces us to Stella and Stanley, there two dogs. Stella had her back hip go out and requires a little wheeled contraption to get around. It is actually quite amazing. Kate is quite taken with it which means we now have to make sure she can't get too close to it.





6:47 p.m. - I can't recall why I had to hold Stanley, but I did. Stanley is a very nervous dog and I can feel his little body quaking as I take him. He lets me know with his barking that me holding him is not his first preference. Then he seems to calm down. Finally Jerry is done doing whatever it was he had to do and I hand Stanley back. It is now that I realize Stanley has peed on my new Zions park shirt. Of course. Shannon assures me that pee washes out of things and points to our sons' bed sheets as an example.

8:00 p.m. - Kirt arrives home and we visit for a little bit and then we realize that in spite of the still lingering daylight outside, it is getting close to 9 p.m. That is just stupid. I am sorry but it is. We tell them goodnight and look forward to seeing them the next day and off we go back to the hotel.

8:59: p.m. - On the way back to the hotel, we recall that Jerry told us our hotel has an up-scale shopping mall on one side and a homeless shelter on the other. Think on that for a moment...You done? Ok. We realize we are not on the high end mall side so we quicken our pace to get back.

9:52 p.m. - Get everyone ready for bed and get them down. Kate decides that...no she is not done. She is unhappy and is going to let us know it.

11:30 p.m. - Kate finally decides she has had enough and goes to sleep. We've had enough too and call it a day.

Utah Trip Day 3: Short But STEEP

Day three of our trip to Utah was our first day without any major driving. The main activity was going to Zion's National Park which was only a 25 mile drive from our hotel. Events unfolded as follows:

7:35 a.m. - My bloodshot eye cracks open just a slit to look at the clock. No one else is moving and all is quiet. Driving 10 hours in two days, loading and unloading our van twice, walking a couple of miles at the Grand Canyon and an inability to adjust to Daylight Savings time has started to take a toll on my body. Every part of me wants to close my eye and see what little extra sleep I can squeeze out of this moment. Unfortunately, there is a hot breakfast at absolutely no cost waiting for us in the lobby and it ends at 9. I have to pry myself up and hop in the shower.

8:40 a.m. - We get ourselves put together enough to get downstairs and get breakfast. Excellent food. Love those hotel waffle makers.

8:45 a.m. - "Abby, where's Mom?" "Logan had to go to the bathroom. So did Braden." (I documented pretty well our bathroom visit issues and they did continue. This will be my last mention of it but if you are keeping track, that is three straight meals where either Shannon or I had to wait on getting fed in order to accomodate the inner workings of our children. Mainly Logan.)

8:55 a.m. - Kate comes up with a new trick. If she doesn't want to eat something, she doesn't necessarily turn away from it, she just lets you put it right in her mouth and then lets it sit there. She won't chew, she won't spit it out, she just holds it in her mouth. Apparently Shannon was aware of this trick, but I experienced it for the first time because Kate kept letting me feed her bites of eggs until suddenly her mouth was full and she just sat there with her jaw clamped shut. Shannon's comment when she returned from the bathroom with the boys? "Oh yeah, she doesn't like eggs." We spend the next five minutes scooping out eggs and spit into a napkin. Yummmm!

9:30 a.m. - We are gassing up and getting ready to go. I suppose the argument could be made that we had already done that with the egg and sausage sandwiches the hotel provided for breakfast, but that would be a cheap and easy joke we will just let slide by. As the van is filling up, I start into the convenience. Shannon asks if I am getting a Dr. Pepper. I reply that I am. She says while shaking her head, "You're sad."

9:35 a.m. - We are pulling out of the gas station and realize right across the street is the Claridge Inn and the Abbey Inn. Nothing overly special about that other than what a coincidence for our family.



9:58 a.m. - We are coming up out of Hurricane and the song Take You Down from the Princess and the Frog comes on the iPod. I decide that we really messed up by not naming one of our boys Boudreaux. So I yell back to Braden and tell him that we are changing his name to Boudreaux so that Bryson can have a Cousin Boudreaux. Soon everyone is calling Braden Boudreaux. Naturally he doesn't care for it and we eventually we have to call a moratorium on the use of the name Boudreaux after much yelling and crying. And it all could have been avoided if I had just kept my mouth shut.

10:12 a.m. - Pass through Rockville. Why would you name a town Rockville? I don't know, could it be those large boulders everywhere that the town is built around? I am going to say yes.

10:19 a.m. - Arrive at Zion's. No parking so I drop all the family off at the visitor's center and drive to the overflow lot. Approximate temperature - 429 degrees. Walk all the back to the visitor's center only to realize I didn't grab my wallet. Walk all the back to the van and get the wallet while doing everything possible not to cuss. When I left, everyone was bathroomed up and ready to go. When I get back, Shannon and Logan need to go again. He is definitely her son.

10:46 a.m. - Get on the shuttle to go down the canyon. Zion's is AMAZING!!! To me it is even more impressive than The Grand Canyon because you are at the bottom looking up and it just rises straight up above you. It really is one of the most amazing things I have seen.

11:08 a.m. - We arrive at the end of the shuttle service so we can go on the family friendly hike along the river. I know I said I wouldn't mention it anymore, but seriously. Logan went twice at the visitor's center and now I need to take him across to the port-a-johns. I mean this kid either has a bladder the size of a dime or he produces more urine than a lab full of olympic athletes.





11:13 a.m. - Start the hike. Kate will not walk. She will cry however and throw amazing fits. I believe the three straight days without a normal nap schedule has begun to rear its ugly head. I pick her up and my day of carrying Kate everywhere through Zion's National Oven begins. However, again, the hike is beautiful. Simply stunning views everywhere you look.



12:01 p.m. - Arrive at the end of the path and the kids take their shoes off to wade in the cool water of the river. My instructions: "Be careful. Try not to get too wet."

12:03 p.m. - Braden falls completely into the river.









1:08 p.m. - Arrive back at the shuttle stop and Kate has completely lost it. It must be time for lunch. The next fifteen minutes on my shoulder would constitute Kate's nap for the day. Not good.



1:25 p.m. - Arrive at the Zion's Lodge and decide to eat lunch in the restaurant to allow ourselves to cool off.

1:40 p.m. - After being seated ten minutes prior, our waiter Tony has not made an appearance again. Starting to get concerned.

1:42 p.m. - Tony comes to our table and asks (admittedly with an accent), "Are you ready or do you need another minute?" My exact quote: "No, I believe we are ready." Tony turns and walks away and does not return for another ten minutes.

2:36 p.m. - We are fed and doing much better. We are ready (After visiting the bathroom of course) to take on one more family friendly hike. But wait, Braden demands that we stop at the ice cream place there at the Zion's Lodge. We tell him we can get ice cream later. He insists it be there because the shuttle driver said it was the "best" ice cream. We have a talk about salesmanship. Yet out of this discussion, I am now committed to purchasing the family ice cream when we hit Springdale coming out of the park. Not entirely sure how that happened.



2:50 p.m. - We decide to do the hike called Weeping Rock. It is a short 1/4 mile hike to a rock overhang where the water never stops seeping out of the rock above. It is explained that the water that rains on the top of the canyon is soaked up by the sandstone and eventually makes its way down to the Weeping Rock area and drops it out. It only takes about 800 years for the process to get from beginning to end. However, the water has never stopped coming out of the rock face at this location. Pretty Cool. Kate is again committed to not walking so up on my shoulders she goes. We saw the part where it said this was a short hike. After returning to the visitors' center, we realized we missed the part where it said, short but STEEP! That might have been good to know. It was completely worth it when we got there, but that trail was at an upward 45 degree angle the entire way. With an extra 30 lbs. on my shoulders, I suddenly wished I was in a lot better shape than I was.





3:30 p.m. - We have hiked and now we have had enough. We get on the shuttle bus and because of the crowds we were not able to sit together. Braden, Kate and I sit up front. She is DONE! The only way we can keep her from crying is for Braden to sing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star with her. After about the 10th time, he says, "Last time." After he is done. She says, "Un mo time." This goes on for another 15 renditions.

4:18 p.m. - We are loaded up and pulling out. I begin to pull forward and Shannon looks out her window. She sees cones on the left and cones on the right and asks if there were cones in front of our van. I assure there are not...bumpbump. Apparently there were. I hope there was no security cameras in the park because if there were, I may be getting a bill for two flattened traffic cones.

4:41 p.m. - We were told there was a cool tunnel just three miles beyond the park the opposite way we needed to go. So we went on a very twisty, ripped up road to see the tunnel. After what had to be closer to 8 miles (ok it was only three but when you are going 10 mph behind someone who would clearly be scared of a two lane straight interstate highway, let alone a mountainous single lane road with drop offs on the side, three miles feels like an eternity), we happen upon a sign that tells us to turn on our lights and remove our sunglasses. I have never seen a sign like that before. It felt a little ominous. We come around a corner and see the most narrow and black tunnel I have ever seen. We also see a sign that this tunnel is 1.1 miles long. We go in. It was like going into a tomb. We could look behind us and not see our children in the seat behind us. It was freaky. We finally made it to the other side...took a deep breath...and went right back through it because that was the only way back to St. George.

5:04 p.m. - Stop for ice cream in Springdale at a homemade candy shop. The candy is homemade, not the shop. After a day where "Clearly the white people are melting", (Not a racist comment, just a movie quote. If you don't know the movie, please don't be offended.) this ice cream couldn't have tasted better. Anytime we happen upon a shop that makes its own chocolates, it reminds Shannon and I of our trip to Maine and the chocolate shop Len Libby's. BEST CHOCOLATE EVER! So I bought some maple creams, orange creams and chocolate butter creams to surprise her. They were very good, not that our children will ever know.



6:13 p.m. - Make it back to the hotel. Due to our late lunch, no one is hungry and we decide to swim for the first time on our vacation. Good choice. Incidentally, Logan has to pee twice while swimming. I'm just saying.

6:49 p.m. - Braden is somewhat scared of hot tubs. Not the hot tub so much as hot water. I have had enough of the pool and Shannon is gone so I walk over to the hot tub and get in. I convince Logan to join me. So does Abby and also this little girl who was a complete stranger. But she came right up and made friends with us. When Braden wouldn't get in the hot tub, she totally called him out on it. I had mentioned he was 8 years old. She said, "I am seven and I get it in. What is wrong with you?" Ouch, called out by not only someone younger, but by a girl.

8:30 p.m. - Finally get dinner. Panda Express for Shannon and I, Applebee leftovers for the kids.

10:15 p.m. - Have to referee argument over who gets to sleep in pull out couch bed. Not who has to sleep in it, who gets to sleep in it. As long as it ain't me, I really don't care who wins this one.

10:30 p.m. - After bathing all the kids and getting everyone fed, we finally get everyone off to sleep. Unlike the night before when everyone was fidgety going to sleep, especially Kate, this night is completely different. Five minutes after we turn out the lights, I am the only one awake. That lasted for about one more minute.

Utah Trip Days 1 & 2: So How Many People Do You Think Fall In The Grand Canyon

Last year, my family went to Disneyland and as a way to better remember the trip, I made notes at the end of each day and then blogged about as if it were a time journal. This worked out pretty well for us in helping us remember all that we had done so when we got ready to head out on our vacation last week, we decided to try it again. Over the next couple of weeks, I will blog another day of our vacation as if in real time. Please know that the times are approximated. I am not really that anal.

July 4, 2010

2:24 p.m. - We are packed and pulling out of the driveway. Had originally anticipated leaving a day earlier, but had to be at church and then count the tithing afterword because Rhett Dodge went on vacation the week previously and would not be home until later that night. So let me recap. Rhett gone to Hawaii for a week with only his wife and they flew. Misses church. We are going to Utah with all of our children and we are driving. Couldn't leave until church was over. Curse Rhett Dodge.

2:37 p.m. - We borrowed our parent's GPS. As we knew the way to Globe from Thatcher, we didn't necessarily need it early on in the trip. Braden begged to be able to hold it. Those who know Braden's obsession with all things electrical will understand. We handed it back, but it came with a warning. "Son, we know that the GPS is going to tell us to turn a different way than we are going to go in Globe. Don't argue with us on what the GPS is telling you."

2:38 p.m. - Braden begins a running commentary on the things we are passing. Not by...looking out the window, but rather what the GPS is telling him.

3:42 p.m. - "Dad, the GPS says we are supposed to turn in .4 miles."

3:43 p.m. - "Dad, it says we missed our turn and now it says we need to turn at Monroe St in .2 miles."

3:44 p.m. - "Dad, the GPS wants us to turn left at the road coming up in .5 miles."

3:44 p.m. - "Son, hand me the GPS."

5:31 p.m. - We made it to North Phoenix without a single stop and without a single tear shed. This is a truly momentous occasion for our family. We broke out the pizza in celebration. Shannon feels it is necessary to point out that I allowed the children to eat pizza in the van. She feels this is a major breakthrough. Honestly though, she had come to a nexus of the universe kind of place for a man who wants to keep his car beautiful and a man who wants to cover as much ground in the least amount of time as possible with minimal complaints from children. I opted for the latter. As I explained to her, I now have a truck to obsess over. I no longer need this van's inner beauty.

(A side note: Shannon wanted to avoid breaking the Sabbath with meals so she had started to plan on sandwiches. Then she realized that Braden likes ham with mustard while Abby does not like ham and would prefer turkey. Logan doesn't like either one and would prefer a butter and honey sandwich. Not peanut butter, butter. He hates peanut butter. This is the same child who hates both hamburgers and hot dogs. I don't know why. Anyway, she started to realize how expensive "simple" sandwiches were going to be. Then she had an epiphany, "Why don't I just order three pizzas from Dominoes for $7 each on Saturday and then put them in a cooler bag to keep until Sunday evening. GENIUS. I know it is genius because it is written in capital letters on the notes that we kept of our trip. In a totally unrelated item, Shannon is the one who took the notes for our trip.)

8:03 p.m. - Arrive at Little America Hotel in Flagstaff. Little America is the most luxurious and amazing hotel ever...if we had arrived in 1962. It is still an ok hotel, but it has not aged well. I will tell you what else had not aged well, the empty beer cans and wine bottle we found in one of the drawers of the dresser. Right there you can see a major problem. How many hotels actually have dressers anymore? Ok, that wasn't really the problem, but seriously, how many? That discovery scared me a bit, I am not going to lie. I hoped this was not an omen to our hotel experience throughout this trip. I am not exagerating how much I was sweating this, because our hotel for the next two nights in St. George I had found on-line with an amazing deal for $59 a night. It had sounded really awesome at the time. As I sat in our Little America room, it suddenly sounded like I had just given over all of our life savings to Bernie Madoff. Not a good feeling.



8:10 p.m. - We explored the hotel. Both Braden and Logan let out gasps of awe at the golden trashcans (1962). We called them the mystical golden trash cans. I mean why wouldn't we. The hotel was pretty cool in that it had a full playground set that allowed my car addled children a chance to work out some energy.

8:47 p.m. - We went into the lobby and looked at what was available in the gift shop. It had everything I would have expected to find in a Brady Bunch visits the Grand Canyon episode including the Mae West alarm clock (which Braden desparately wanted).

10:02 p.m. - Bed time. Mr. Marbles, is that you?

July 5, 2010

7:04 a.m. - Rise and start the process of getting everything packed and back in the van. Second floor, no elevator. Swear Shannon is packing hotel furniture in the suitcase.

9:12 a.m. - On our way to the Grand Canyon. Pull out of the parking lot and realized we were right across the street from Black Bart's. It made Shannon and I very sentimental to think of the night we visited Mike and Geralyn in college and went to dinner there because Mike had worked there as a singing waiter. Then we remembered that we slept on an air mattress in their NAU student housing kitchen/doorway/living room. All sentimentality left and we drove quickly away.

10:38 a.m. - For someone wanting to visit the Grand Canyon, the guy three cars in front of us does not want to get there very badly. One of my pet peeves is people who won't drive the speed limit except when a chance to pass legally comes along.

10:57 a.m. - Arrive at the Grand Canyon. Main viewing area closed. Must walk 1/2 a mile to closest viewing area. It's HOT!!! Kate, not walking so much. I get to carry her.

11:11 a.m. - Arrive at trail and see Grand Canyon for the first time. Kids reaction? Oh...are we done? NO! We paid $25 to get in here, we are going to enjoy it.









11:12 a.m. - Logan: "I have to pee." "Can you hold it?" "No" (Remember this conversation, it will come up again.) So Logan pees in the trees right off of the trail with hundreds of people around.









11:35 a.m. - Kate poops. No facilities. Can't figure out anything else to try and get the kids excited about so we start back. Shannon with dirty diaper in tow. Braden: "Aren't we going to finish the trail?" "No, you said you wanted to go back." "But now I want to finish the trail." AAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

11:58 a.m. - We see the sign of the day:

Q: How Many People Fall In The Grand Canyon?

A: Surprisingly few people have fallen in the Grand Canyon over the years, however, relatively few survive the initial 300 foot drop so be careful.

12:30 p.m. - Lunch at Wendy's. We literally beat the rush as over a hundred people descend on the restaurant just as we get our food. Half way through, Logan: "I have to poop." "Can you hold it until I am done with my food?" "No!"

1:10 p.m. - Leaving the Canyon and headed to St. George.

2:48 p.m. - GPS told us to go back into the park and exit on a different road. After driving this road almost out to the main highway, we realize there is no pay station to get into the park on this road. You apparently can just come in for free. We will remember that for the next time. Except, Braden's comment is probably pretty accurate. "Now I can come back when I am in my 30's with my kids." He says this because my last time to see the Grand Canyon was when I was 10. Shannon? 4. Sigh.

3:57 p.m. - Had planned on going through Page, but GPS says we should go by the North Rim of the Canyon and then through Fredonia. Never been that way. It will be an adventure. We leave a road with several cars on it. We head down a road with absolutely no cars on it. As we are making the turn, I do not lie, the song "The Road Less Travelled" by George Strait begins to play. It has the following lyrics, "And it all might come together, or it all might come unravelled. On the Road Less Travelled." Shannon and I look at each other. We're both a little scared.

5:18 p.m. - Logan: "I have to pee" "We are five miles from Fredonia, can you hold it?" "No!" We pull off on the side of the road in the middle of no where. No I take that back. Fredonia is the middle of no where so we were five miles from the middle of no where and Logan pees right outside the van door.

5:25 p.m. - Arrive in Fredonia. Stop at a gas station with a sign outside that reads: Lotto, Guns, Ammo, Beer. I mean really, what more do you need.

6:00/7:00 p.m. - Cross into UT and lose an hour to Daylight Savings. Daylight Savings sucks. Let's all pretend that it is later than it really is and it will make life better. What idiocy!

7:00 p.m. - Right on the border is Colorado City. I have to admit I was kind of excited to come this way because I wanted to see what it looked like. Well, it wasn't that special except that there were massive houses. I am not saying massive nice houses. Just massive houses. Like hotel size houses. I wonder what those are for.

7:01 p.m. - Passing the business section of Colorado City that is on the main highway, we see the following businesses: Caanan Corner, Merry Wives Club, Ephraim's Bank and Tacos to Go. Well I guess if it is Dad's night to make dinner, you can't go wrong with tacos.

7:20 p.m. - Pass through Hurricane, UT. I am sorry, it is Hurrican, UT, but we will throw on an extra "e" for no reason.

7:40 p.m. - Check into our hotel. Thankfully Little America was not an omen.

8:00 p.m. - Arrive at St. George temple grounds. Beautiful. Walk into visitor's center and are greeted by sister missionary. When we establish that we are from Thatcher, they mention there is a sister from Thatcher there. Of course it is Monique Mullenaux from our ward. We had totally forgotten that she was serving there. We left her a note.





8:10 p.m. - Kids distraught at the stairs that lead to doors with no handles.

9:00 p.m. - Dinner at Applebee's. As food is arriving, Logan: "I need to go poop." "Can you wait?" "No!"

11:00 p.m. - Finally get to bed. Daylight Savings sucks.