Experiencing How The Other 1% Live

For several months, I had heard about the fancy golf course my sister-in-law Danica worked at but hadn't really paid attention to exactly what the course was. I had it in my mind that it was just a fancy public course that was like other fancy public courses I had played at where you are made to feel as if the staff is doing you a great favor by even acknowledging your presence, let alone allowing you to pay them large amounts of money to golf on their course. I should have paid attention a little closer because this wasn't exactly the case. More on that to come.

Cody had been trying to work it out with me to come and play the course for a couple of months. I am not sure of the exact way this works, but staff members are allowed to have a guest come and play in the off season as long as they aren't in anyone's way and don't embarrass anyone in any way whatsoever while they are there. Danica's last day was going to be on June 14th, but we worked out that I could make it on the 16th and the club allowed her to bring Cody and I two days after she was done. They apparently liked her and want her back during the busy season next year. Anyway, we were on and I made the trip down to play golf with Cody as well as get in a temple trip.

The part where I hadn't paid attention now came into play. They started to explain what this club really is. It is not a public course. It is a private club called Mirabel which costs $120,000 to join and then you get the opportunity to pay an additional $1,200 a month to be a member. That doesn't even cover your green fees. I started to get an idea that I was going to be in a place that was way above my pay grade.



So I drove down early that morning and went to the temple. Following my temple visit, I knew that clubs like this don't generally care for denim...anything. This was going to be a problem since my non-denim shorts and pants options had pretty much disappeared since moving to Thatcher. So I stopped in at Sears and found the cheapest non-denim shorts I could find. They weren't too bad. All right they were hideous. Especially when combined with my collared shirt selection for the day. (This selection has also suffered since I got on at the hospital). But at least I would be allowed on the course and my hideous clothing ensemble would probably be right in style with most of the senior citizen set who make up the clientale who would be golfing at that time of day on a Tuesday. Who knows, maybe if I had used some makeup to add some additional wrinkles to my face to go along with my almost translucent white legs and my "look at me, my rods and cones have degenerated so much I can't even tell what my clothes look like" wardrobe, I might have been able to take advantage of the special senior rate at King's Table later that day. (I am aware that King's Table no longer exists, but I had to give a shout out to the place where many a youth temple excursion ended before the long drive home. I just had to. And let's admit, nothing beat that bland, non-seasoned food of the King's Table.)

Anyway, after getting the shorts, (wow, I really got off topic in the above paragraph. Sorry!) I started driving north to meet Cody and Danica. I was cutting the timing close and it didn't help when I got lost for about 15 minutes. (Danica, there are two exits for Pima Road, just so you know.) Anyway, after what felt like driving to Utah, I finally got there and they put me in the back seat and got me through the gate. I hope this is the closest I come to experiencing an illegal border crossing. Once at the club house (Club Mansion), we walked up and had to dodge the odd Porsche or Jaguar. I walked in between two cars with my clubs and fortunately realized in time that the two vehicles combined had a value that would equal all of the money I have ever made since high school. I lifted the clubs above my head and didn't breathe while walking between them.

The really interesting thing is that the people who helped us out were much nicer than the jerky snots who work at the expensive public courses. However, that didn't mean I didn't feel completely out of place. I had to use the facilities before our round and when I washed my hands, it took about two minutes to realize there was no paper towel dispenser and that the rolled up hand towels were what I was supposed to use. I am such an idiot. An idiot in a bird poop orange shirt and non-matching plaid shorts.



We got out to the practice range and they had free balls to practice with. They had stocked our golf carts with four bottles of water and two towels. The carts had the full back support. There were comfort stations on the course where you could get free sodas and snacks. It reminded me of the Frasier where they opened up the restaurant together and they were talking about all the ways they could make it snooty when their dad says, "You could put snipers up on the roof and have them shoot anyone who tries to get in." I started looking around for the person who was clearly going to come up at any minute and tell me to get out because I didn't belong in this golfing nirvana.

Speaking of the golfing nirvana, that course was NICE!!! Especially the greens. It felt like I was walking on dense green foam. It was awesome. What was really awesome was that I ended up beating Cody by one stroke. I would break down the round in detail, but this post is already too long and most of you wouldn't care anyway.

I want to extend a massive thank you to Cody and Danica for getting me out there. It was a really awesome experience I won't forget.

In other news, the Safford City Council rescended the library fees for non-residents due to major public backlash. That is a good thing for our family, but the downside is that it takes the pressure off of Thatcher to upgrade our community. Oh well, we will keep at them. Also, Shannon said she was going to blog about my thirty...my latest birthday. I don't know if that is going to happen or not, but I am ok if it doesn't because as she stated, "Once you hit thirty-six, that is pretty much forty." Great. That is just great.

Ahhh...Small Town Politics

Life has recently gotten very interesting here in the Gila Valley. For those of you not familiar with our area, there has long been a rivalry between the neighboring communities of Safford and Thatcher. Well, that rivalry took an awfully ugly turn in the last few weeks. To give a full history, you have to go back decades. I don't particularly want to give a full history so we will only go back a couple of years. A couple of years ago, Safford decided that they would charge everyone who is not a resident of Safford who receives Safford water a higher rate than residents. This doesn't sound to out of line except when you consider that Safford receives most of their income from sales tax and not property tax. Thatcher residents are paying the same sales tax as their fellow Safford residents. Also, an agreement existed from when the water delivery system was created that Thatcher residents would never pay higher rates than Safford residents. That agreement is the main catch point. Rather than try and negotiate with Thatcher, Safford went ahead and started charging the higher rates. Thatcher sued and currently it is in litigation while we continue to pay the higher rates.

Shoot forward to a couple of months ago and now Safford is so enamored with their higher rates for non-residents idea that they have decided to charge non-resident rates for their pool usage and, even more recently, to charge non-residents of Safford $50 a year for an individual library card with a 5 item limit (residents have no limit on their library card) or $165 for a family library card. These higher rates don't just apply to Thatcher residents, they also apply to individuals with Safford addresses who technically live on county land. Needless to say, this has caused a certain amount of outrage throughout our valley. Most people would recognize the politically suicidal path this could turn out to be, but one of those people is not the mayor of Safford. My favorite letter to the editor of our local paper was from a man who said he asked the mayor what he should do since he will have trouble affording the $50 library card. He said the mayor told him he should get a second job. Keep in mind the current economy we are in and locally we are still trying to recover from the widespread layoffs recently carried out by the mining industry. That is caring for your constituents on the highest level right there. WOW!

So after all of that background, how does this affect our family? Shannon and I decided it was just too expensive to purchase a summer pass to the pool in Safford this year. Abby asked why we couldn't go swimming more at the Safford pool and Shannon explained why. Abby got very upset and asked what she should do. Shannon explained that about all she could do was write a letter to the editor. Which she did and delivered it to the paper before I ever got home from work. Her letter can be read here if you paste it into your browser line:

http://www.eacourier.com/articles/2009/06/03/opinion/letters/doc4a25952d264f0420686139.txt

I was very proud of her. I have since learned she has no desire to be a community activist and this will now conclude her interest in fighting city hall, but I suppose its a start. A pretty good start as far as I am concerned. But I had started to form my own opinions and felt that if my daughter could get involved, I probably ought to as well. So I wrote my own letter to the editor which can be viewed here:

http://www.eacourier.com/articles/2009/06/10/opinion/letters/doc4a2ee4000029f320878275.txt

Since I had opened the door, I felt I had better back it up and I attended the next Thatcher town council meeting. While there, I expressed that I believed we needed to be a self-sufficient community and asked what the council was planning to do with regard to building a pool, a library and working with Safford on assisting with the golf course so that Thatcher residents would not be charged non-resident rates at a facility that is within the Thatcher town boundaries. (For those not familiar with the golf course situation in Graham County, I am not going to explain it and you really don't care in the first place). I then asked if there were no plans, what could I as a resident do to make them a priority for the council and begin the process of looking into the feasibility of providing these resources. I then asked that if there is nothing I could do to make it a priority to please tell me so, so that I could then figure what my, and those who shared my concerns, next course of action would be. That is where it got interesting.

Those unfamiliar with the Thatcher town government are not familiar with the name Terry Hinton. Those who are familiar react much the way the hyenas in Lion King do when they hear the name Mufasa. Terry Hinton is the Town Manager of Thatcher. Terry is very confident in his beliefs on what is best for the town. Following my remarks, he shared that the EAC pool was now open and therefore what is the problem, just use that one. I pointed out that EAC had not opened their pool to the public in the two years previous and that yet again this year, swimming lessons were not available. I asked what guarantees are there this would not be the case in the future. He then challenged me that the EAC library is open to the public. I responded that the EAC library has no children's books and therefore does not meet the needs of a "family community." He explained that in these tough economic times, we need to be looking to partner with people instead of spending our money. He used the example of Thatcher schools renting EAC's football field for their games which is a huge money saver. I said that is true, but recently EAC has kicked The American Cancer Society's Relay for Life and the Boy Scouts of America's Triatholon off their field because they don't like the effect it has on their facilities. What is to keep them from doing the same to Thatcher football? As you can imagine, we were not sharing our ideas while sipping gingerly from tea cups with our pinkies extended in a truly civil manner.

Then came the golf course. I was lectured that I don't pay any property tax to Thatcher (still not sure what that has to do with anything) and that why should residents who don't golf pay for my ability to golf. That is an interesting argument from a town that uses the golf course on their promotional material as a reason to come to our community. Also, following that logic, I am now claiming my independence from paying Social Security (which most of the council should be eligible for in the next 2-3 years if they aren't already). And then entered Dudley Welker. Dudley Welker is the town attorney. Dudley Welker appears to be old enough to have possibly drafted the original charter for the town over 100 years ago. If he doesn't move, you aren't sure he is real. However, to his credit he still has a nice head of hair which is more than I can say for myself. Over his long and varied career, Dudley Welker has apparently dealt with insane antics from Safford so many times that it has warped his ability to think or listen coherently when the topic of dealing with Safford is mentioned. Terry Hinton had just expounded on the virtues of partnering with other entities and so I suggested that with the local paper present, Thatcher should make an offer to reach out and assist with the golf course so that Thatcher residents would not take a financial hit yet again just for living on the west side of 20th Ave. (Everyone present was fully aware that working with Safford is a complete waste of time and it would never work. That was not the actual point of the comment.) That awoke the sleeping grizzly. Mr. Welker started in on me with how ridiculous it even is to have a golf course and the only reason it exists is because certain people in Safford like to play golf. (I actually thought that was a fairly reasonable reason to have a golf course. There are people in Thatcher who like to play golf as well, including one in a blue house on 1st Avenue, but I digress.) He went on to how many times he has sued the city of Safford and ended with a rousing rendition of "Kill The Beast" from Beauty and the Beast. Ok, he didn't do the last one, but I kind of pictured it just now and got a good chuckle. Anyway, as the conversation had pretty much played itself out, the mayor tried to bring it to an end when Mr. Welker said, "One more statement." He then looked at me, leaned forward and stated emphatically, "You could just move to Safford!"

That caught me by surprise and before I could take a moment to compose myself, I stated (shouted) back, "Or I could run for the council and make what I want a priority." Probably not my finest moment.

By the way, did I mention I had taken Abby to this meeting so that she could learn how to go through the proper channels of local government? Well, that went well. I am pretty sure she won't be writing any letters to editor again any time soon.

The coming weeks will be interesting and we will see how they play out. I can't help but wonder why it was again that I poked my neck out and got involved. I suppose it has to do with the way I was raised. Thanks again Mom and Dad. I owe you one.