Christmas 2009

Today is a very picture heavy post so I will keep the writing to a minimum. However, the Christmas season for the Rapier family was as busy a time as I can remember. With Abby in drama for the first time this year and Braden having started Piano and Logan having his first year in Pre-school, you should be able to mentally start tabulating the number of Christmas programs we attended during the first two full weeks of December. It was a few. Below is a sampling of the programs including Braden and Abby's piano recital and Logan's preschool program.









Now the picture of Kate was taken at Braden and Abby's recital. Much to my dismay, this picture does not indicate that she has taken an affinity to Brad Paisley and is therefore dressing accordingly. No, actually Shannon's grandmother Layton's 90+ year old male compadre (Just not really sure of what to call their relationship so we will try that) really has taken a shine to Kate and loves to play with her. Here she is sporting his hat. She, unlike the older two, is showing a similarity to Logan in that she is not opposed to wearing hats. In fact at times, she rather enjoys it. As evidenced by this next picture:



Once school let out, things quieted down and then we realized how behind we were with Christmas presents. So on the Saturday before Christmas, I took the kids up to Noon Creek on Mt Graham and got some pictures that we used to put in a collage frame for Shannon for Christmas. We got several good shots, but here is one of my favorites of the three older ones. We weren't able to get one of all four because Kate fell asleep on the way there and was cold and...anyone needing further explanation regarding the picture taking ability of a one year old under those circumstances, call me.



Suddenly, Christmas Eve was upon us and we found ourselves headed to the annual Rapier Christmas Eve party. My extended family has been holding this get together for longer than my entire life. In fact, I showed a video of old home movies of this event that dated back to 1972 and that was not the first one. Anyway, we did what we always do; feast on Mexican food, have a gift giving thing for the kids, recreate the nativity and most of all, enjoy catching up with one another. A new wrinkle this year was that each family was invited to share a song or presentation with everyone else. Abby and Braden each played their Christmas songs on the piano and I showed the aforementioned video. Our parents went with a reading of the poem "The Night Before Christmas" with my dad somewhat acting it out. I mentioned to Shannon that for some reason, I was taught a funny recreation of that poem as a child and I don't remember any of it except one line. And whenever I hear that poem, I automatically think of that line. It goes, "When out on the lawn, there arose such a clatter, I sprang from my bunkbed and missed the ladder." I smile everytime. In fact, racking my brains just now, I am not sure I even remember the real words. Oh well. Below are some of the pictures from this night. Abby finally got angel duty which she has wanted for many years while Braden was promoted from Shepherd to Wise Man and Logan scored the role of Joseph. Also, notice how enthused Abby is at dinner.





Then suddenly, it was Christmas morning. Braden and Abby got bikes, Logan got Lincoln Logs, Kate got a new doll and Ryan and Shannon got each other the same gift. What you gonna do. I guess that means that we really wanted it. We got each other a fire pit. There were lots of other presents and we had a great time that morning playing with our new stuff. Abby officially entered pre-teenhood and enjoyed a more Christmas of comfort than Christmas of toys. She can be seen here with her new Snoogie (which she had desperately wanted...really...it was not a gag gift. To make it worse, I now believe I may want one.) Shannon and I prefer to call it a Slanket based on a 30 Rock episode. If you have seen the episode, you will understand.







That afternoon, we went over to our parents' house and enjoyed Christmas dinner and then additional present opening. Marilyn got a new iPod dock for her iPod touch and so after setting it up, dancing in the kitchen commenced. I am not sure how Shannon's family reacted to this as Melinda's kids had a look of complete confusion as Grandma and their new Grandad were swing dancing next to the kitchen sink, but those of us on the Rapier side have had kitchen dancing (or dancing anywhere for that matter) as part of our lives for quite some time.



Finally, the glow of Christmas subsided and Shannon decided it was time to paint. So she went out Saturday night and bought a gallon of paint and begain painting on Monday. We attended the EAC Men's basketball tourney on Monday night to watch the Duncan/Thatcher game (which, alas, Duncan lost by 1 point). You can see here that prior to the game, Abby was claiming her allegiance. Also, last night, we finally got around to our hot dog and marshmallow roast with our new firepit. My favorite moment was when Logan roasted his first marshmallow and ate it. He then looked at me with this serious look and said, "I don't like that. I will just eat them plain." At which point, he shoved another whole marshmallow (unroasted) into his mouth. Several more followed suit.







It was a great holiday and we are sad to see it go. However, the true level of sadness will be felt when we have to get out of bed on Monday, Jan. 4 at 6:45.

Keeping Up With The Rapierians

To be completely up front, I have never seen the TV show that the title of this post is parodying. I think you will have to agree with me that by using the word parodying in its correct context (for that matter using the word context) proves that I have never seen this show. In fact to go further, I am not at all a fan of the whole genre. (Is it possible that I am overcompensating by using a lot of fancy words to distance myself from the world of idiocy that is 2009 reality TV? I believe the answer is: Categorically!) Anyway, I just couldn't think of a better title to describe our lives since Thanksgiving. But since I started down this path, in honor of our trailer park brethren, I challenge you to keep track of how many references to asinine "reality" shows there are throughout the post and the person who can get back to me with the correct answer will get the amount of money equivalent to the combined IQ of the cast of Jersey Shore. (Hint: From what I have read, winning this prize would actually mean you owe me money, so don't waste too much time.)

I have no excuse for the preceding paragraph other than to say it is the Friday of the last week of school prior to Christmas. I now fully believe the song the twelve days of Christmas has been mistranslated over the years and that in its original text it was The Twelve Days of Christmas Programs. Abby had her choir program last week. Braden had his choir program on Tuesday morning. Logan had his pre-school program Wednesday evening and Abby had her drama club Christmas play Thursday evening, followed by additional performances Friday morning. This evening, I am in charge of the hospital's Christmas party being held from 4:30 to 7:00. Add in visiting all of the widows and widowers of the ward last Saturday morning and Tithing Settlement on Sunday and Tuesday evenings and you might understand why my mind might be all over the place and I would be inclined to run for The Hills. But tis the season and all is good. However, we have had a couple of events that warrant a special mention over the last couple of weeks.



As some of you may have heard, my father got remarried on December 5th to my mother-in-law. As you can see from the picture above, I am already having trouble with the new step-sister. Anyway, the day was perfect with absolutely stunning weather and a lot of family was able to make it. Following the ceremony, we all gathered outside for some pictures and it went exactly how you would expect it to go with that many children under the age of 10. How Logan's suit coat still has any shape at all is beyond me. As you can imagine, the jokes about new family relations were plentiful and I was a pretty good sport and managed a polite smile for most of them. However, I couldn't resist an eye-roll when somehow our situation got connected with Twilight by having us decide whether we were Team Claridge or Team Rapier. It isn't that the joke was that bad. It was just that suddenly my life had been tied in with that over hyped piece of fluff. This landed on my low lights for the year 2009. (I might read those books someday, but it is getting less and less likely everytime I am told how gorgeous Robert Pattinson is. To me he looks like someone dragged an albino out of the grave. Yes, I get it, he is a vampire, but that look doesn't say gorgeous to me. And if that is what the fans of this phenomenon believe to be an honest representation of human beauty, then suddenly how someone named Flavor Flav who wears a viking helmet and clock around his neck gets his own Bachelor type dating reality show is making more sense all of the time. Aren't all of these things signs of the Apocolypse. If not, they should be.)



Following the pictures, we headed over to the chapel across the street and had a luncheon/reception that my uncle Jack's family put on. They always do such an amazing job. The food was fantastic. It was quite sobering to realize every person in that cultural hall was my family. They were already, but now there was a second marriage to solidify it even more and create more confusion on someone's family group sheet. This may be inappropriate, but I am grateful that our parents are beyond child bearing years. That would just be too much. Danny and Marilyn plus 23 + 1. I can hear A&E picking up the phone right now. Anyway, we had a great time visiting with everyone and only Abby was disappointed with the outcome. Her cousin Shelby was unable to come with Shauna and they were not able to pick up where they had left off when we were returning from Fish Lake.



So after this, they were off on the honeymoon. As you can imagine, I would just as soon move right on past this as quickly as I would an episode of My Fair Brady, but one thing needs to be mentioned. NOT THAT!!! Just stop. No the thing I have to mention is just how different I am than my father. Their trip was a cruise to Mexico that left Los Angeles on Monday. They left Mesa on Saturday. Now to me, there were several scenarios that would work on breaking up the trip or doing whatever it takes to get to LA in plenty of time without exhausting myself. Not one of them includes spending the night in Blythe, CA. For those not familiar with this town, just remove the H from the name and you get a pretty good idea where they spent their wedding night. SIGH!!! I can actually imagine a scenario where they film an entire season of Survivor in Blythe, but that is a different story. Anyway, I guess that is why it wasn't my honeymoon and I hope they enjoyed it. Speaking with them later, we do know that they really had a good time on the cruise. I didn't have the heart to ask about Blythe.

While they were gone, we celebrated my dad's birthday on December 11 by going to our ward party. It was a lot of fun and the kids got to meet Santa Claus. Somehow, someone thought it would be a good idea to have the Bishopric be the wise men in the Christmas program. That someone was not me. After seeing his costume, I am pretty sure Bishop was not that someone either. Actually it was the lady who worked many hours on this program and did a fantastic job. However, she had to deal with the age old problem that many a person has had to deal with in putting together a nativity program. How do you costume a wiseman in stuff you have around the house while not having them look like shepherds? Not an easy thing to pull off. She did great. However she did warn us to try and find our own costumes otherwise she would come up with what she had. From the picture you can see the final result. I mean, I didn't come off too good, but I am not sure my figure would have looked good in much of anything. I am pretty sure the original wisemen were not dressed as we were. Not unless they were trying out for Real World: Jerusalem 1 A.D. I have to say that I had trouble containing my laughter when I saw Bishop in the striped moo-moo. But the bright pink...headwear?...I am not sure the picture does it justice. I have never seen his wife laugh so much. It was worth getting into my outfit just to see that.









So here we are today and the kids are officially out of school. Are we ready for Christmas? Not really, but we are a lot better off than we were 5 days ago. At that point I was on the border of panic. It is a lot better now. However, if I have to deal with one more Wal-Mart employee who deserves to be in their job as much as Paris Hilton or Nicole Richie, I will possibly be featured on the show Cops. But I have to admit that I love this time of year...most of the time. And now that school is out, it gets easier. I now have time to stop and reflect on how lucky I am to have such a wonderful family. Even if I do need a flow chart to explain them to someone. We hope each and everyone who reads this has a Merry Christmas and the best New Year.

P.S. I swear that I have never watched any of these shows that I have referenced in this post. My favorite sports columnist has a reality show problem and I have gleaned most of my knowledge of these shows from him. You will notice I didn't mention Joe Millionaire at all. Because then I would have had to admit that Shannon and I watched the finale of that show. I am pretty sure those brain cells still haven't recovered.

Random Thoughts

What Am I Doing To My Children?

In the picture above, you can see Logan sporting his favorite present from his recent birthday, an Indiana Jones hat. My brother Jerry and Kirt sent this to him and since he got it, it rarely leaves his head. We also have taken to calling him Indy (I mean why wouldn't we) and it made me think about the influence we have on our kids when it comes to popular culture. I have talked about this before, but it is quite something to realize this kid has never seen any of the movies and yet is just below obsessed with a cultural icon from the 80s that was my hero growing up. Wii Indiana Jones Lego game has a lot to do with it...ok a WHOLE lot, but the only reason I bought it was because he was my hero. Little did I know the fascination my kids would have with that one game. It is really funny that before he got the hat, Logan did not want to be called Indy or Indiana, he wanted to be called Short Round. In fact, would not answer sometimes if you didn't call him Short Round. The irony of that is that Short Round is in the second Indiana Jones movie. I think we all know what that means. Just in case you lived under a rock though, the second Indiana Jones movie is a huge reason behind why we now have the PG13 rating. Beating heart being pulled from a guys chest or something or other, I would prefer not to talk about it. Anyway, it is just funny to me that my five year old is demanding to be called by a character's name from a movie he won't be able to watch until he is 12 or 13...wait, I can hear Shannon's voice in my mind as I write this and she is saying 16 if ever. That is a discussion for a later day, but you get the point. The funny thing is, Abby is also into something that she knows very little about. She got a Batman shirt and absolutely loves it. It is just the Batman logo, but she considers it her coolest shirt. Here again, she hasn't ever seen any of the Batman movies new or old. (I suppose if we are in need of a punishment for her, we could force her to watch the one with Val Kilmer, Tommy Lee Jones and Jim Carrey.) But she thinks it is cool. Why? I am sure she overheard the constant raving that I did over the Dark Knight. I am also aware that some of her friends at school probably have played a role in this as they have probably seen the movie, but still. I look forward to watching Batman Begins with her whenever I get clearance from Shannon. I don't think I will get to watch The Dark Knight with her as Shannon isn't sure that she was even old enough to watch it at 33. Clearly my wife and I have different tastes in movies. (An aside, isn't it pretty cool that the ageless Richard Alpert is also the mayor of Gotham City in The Dark Knight? Who is this guy? For those of you who are not Lost fans, you won't get this. For those of you who are, that is my number one question as we go into season 6. Who is that guy and where did he come from? I digress)

The Cost of Having It All

You know, over the last few months being in the bishopric, spending time with family and making observations in general, I have come to an epiphany: Marriage can be really hard. Please understand that I am not making any comments on my own marriage and therefore trying to read between the lines will not get you anywhere. I just realize that every marriage has its tough times. So it has been hard to watch this Tiger Woods thing blow up. The prevailing thought I keep coming across is, "What an Idiot!" I can't say that I disagree. (I actually read an article today where the wife of one of my favorite columnists said if her husband ever did this, she would beat him to death with his 2.8 pound book that he just wrote. I have seen that book, and I would caution him to avoid making this same mistake as Tiger, because that book likely could kill him.) But I just can't help but feel very bad for both he and his wife. Regardless of how this ends up playing out, this has to be the worst moment in both their lives and it is happening in front of the world. The fact that it is happening this way really doesn't say much for our society. At least in the days of the Romans and Gladiators, the tearing apart of people in front of the crowd was over relatively quickly and the dead didn't have to deal with it much beyond that. Now we just seem to enjoy destroying someone and then putting them on display for a few weeks to watch them helplessly thrash around. It makes me think of that movie plot where the guy is supposed to be completely under the influence of anesthesia, but he is only part way. So he hears his wife talking with the Surgeon about how they are going to murder him during the surgery. It kind of seems like that is what we want to do to people when we discover shortcomings. There is no winner here and while a 9-iron to the back of the head is probably appropriate, I just feel bad for the both of them and silently wish them the best.

What School Did I Go To?

Shannon was remarking the other day that school is way different than when we went. My children had early release this last Wednesday. Let me be very clear what that means. They had a half day three days after the Thanksgiving holiday. REALLY? Then yesterday, both Abby and Braden come home with tales of parties they were going to be having. Were they speaking of their Christmas parties? Of course not. They were talking about parties for being good. What??? Abby's class had a doughnut party for good behavior. If they continue, they will get to have a rootbeer float party. Braden, meanwhile, is having a party for being good while the Superintendant was in the classroom. That's it. If I had known we could have pulled this kind of extortion when I was in school, back up the ice cream truck and let's get this party started. I mean, is it just me or wasn't having good behavior just kind of expected? Conversely, not having good behavior usually ended in a bad place thus encouraging children not to have bad behavior again. I am not saying one or the other is right necessarily. I am just saying I got completely jipped.

Tomorrow's the Day

I would like to wish my Dad/New Father-in-Law and my Mother-in-Law/New Step-Mother congratulations on their wedding tomorrow. I have to say, there is nothing more fun than just throwing that scenerio out to people with no explanation and then watch the realization come over them. I don't say anything, I just kind of nod. I enjoy the look of confusion transform into understanding as their minds click into place exactly what I have just said. In fact, Alan Sparks came up to me the other day having been the salesperson our parents dealt with at the Ashley Home Store and just took a moment to clarify what he thought he heard, but wasn't sure how that could be. No Alan, it is exactly what you heard. So congratulations parental figures (easier to generalize than use all of the titles that now apply), we love you. I just hope you haven't caused Shannon and I to be in violation of any laws in the process.