I have heard from several people that you are allowed to say whatever you want about someone as long as it is followed up by "Bless their heart!" I am sure that is probably faulty logic, but in this case I am going to use it.
Tonight, we get game 7 of the NBA Finals between the Celtics and the Lakers. To understand why I even care, you must understand I lived and died by the Celtics during high school. I was an unapologetic Larry Bird fan. While girls would be writing their first names in a note book followed by the last name of whatever boy they were obsessed with at the moment, I would be just as secretly writing the names of the starting five as follows:
Larry Bird,F - 33
Kevin McHale,F - 32
Robert Parish,C - 00
Danny Ainge,G - 44
Ryan Rapier,G - 34
I believe my record for most Celtics shirts owned at one time was 4. I have documented previously that I nearly broke my hand during a Celtics-Pistons game by punching a brick wall. (SMART) I just loved the Celtics.
Well, if you grew up in the '80s and loved the Celtics, that meant you by default, HATED the Lakers. And I did. I despised Magic Johnson and his stupid little grin (ok massive grin). I thought Michael Cooper pulling his socks all the way up to his knees made him look like an idiot (although I have a similar picture of me in junior high with the same fashion selection. I choose to forget that.) Kareem was a doofus in those goggles and anybody who wore glasses like those Kurt Rambis wore deserved to be pummeled in the face repeatedly just as an example to others. I was a tad strong in my feelings.
Fortunately, I have matured since that time. I have let my life's interests include more than basketball. I have mellowed in my disdain for players on teams I don't root for. I had pretty much transformed myself into a live and let live peacenik when it came to rooting for professional basketball. (Ok truthfully, I pretty much stopped watching NBA basketball regularly for the last 20 years.) Then came Kobe Bryant.
Kobe Bryant came straight out of high school and told everyone that he wanted to play for the Lakers. It didn't matter who drafted him, he was playing for the Lakers. That irked me.
Over the next several years, nothing was too bad because he was just part of the Lakers team that I still hated, but was not getting too worked up because of my new zen-like approach to NBA basketball. I will never like the Lakers, but no player was worth HATING!
Then came the split between Shaq and Kobe. I got irked even more because he appeared to be a spoiled little brat. Oh well. But it just got worse. He once got upset with the media dogging him about hogging the ball all of the time so he refused to shoot the ball for an entire half. IN A PLAYOFF GAME! They lost. I really started to dislike this kid.
Then there was the rape allegation. Regardless of guilt or innocence, when he bought a $4 million ring to make everything ok with his wife, I started to slip into despisement.
Now, I just hate him. I hate the way he makes shots he shouldn't that are just incredible. I hate that he is so good. I hate that stupid face he makes when he wants everyone to know that he is intense. It is his, "Hey look everyone, I am now intense" face. It makes me think of a woodchuck. Look at the picture. I now call it his woodchuck face. I hate that he tries to pretend to be a great teammate while everyone is watching while the reports just continue to flow in about how lousy of a teammate he is. I just don't like Kobe Bryant.
It has brought out a side of me I thought I had been able to supress. It isn't pretty. I look at the Lakers and see Pao Gasol. I mean come on, try just a little bit to fight the stereotype of non-hygenic european and appear to bathe occasionally. Then there is that jerky little Russian dude who forgets we aren't playing the World Cup and flops on the floor like he was shocked by a taser gun at the slightest bump. Oh but if he gets called for a foul? We need to call Matlock because no one has ever been more wrongfully accused than this guy. AAAAAGHHHH!!!! Then there is Ron "Why don't I go into the stands and start a riot" Artest. Enough said. I find that because of Kobe, I hate these Lakers as much if not more than the '80s Lakers and I didn't think that was possible.
So tonight, even though I do not have anywhere near the attachment with anyone on this Celtics team as I did to that group that played in the '80s, I pray they win. Unfortunately, I know they probably won't, but I sure hope they do. Seeing Woodchuck Boy holding the trophy again is enough to make me swear off NBA basketball for another 20 year.
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