New Blogging Home

For anyone interested, I have started a new, less family centered blog at www.ryansrapierwit.com. I will still occasionally post here with family specific posts, mainly for my journal-like endeavors.

Spring Break Fever

There's a phenomenon that occurs here in Thatcher that I haven't truly experienced before. When the week of Spring Break arrives, by at least Thursday, the town has emptied like a cruise ship preparing to slip beneath the ocean. It seems as if nobody is here. As Shannon and I heard from person after person regarding their plans and then looked at our uneventful week laid out before us on the calendar, we felt a small amount of guilt for our sheltered and boring family.

Thankfully, Shannon's mother works for the Marriott here locally and so before all was a total loss, we were able to formulate some plans and join the mass exodus out of town.

Rather than break it down by days, I will recap the entire trip in one setting:

Thursday, March 22 - 8:17 a.m. - A mere seventeen minutes after we had anticipated leaving, we are ready to go. Shannon and I pile everyone into the car and I turn the ignition...That didn't sound good. I turn off the car and start it again. It takes even longer than last time. So, instead of Tombstone being our first destination, we set out for O'Reilly Auto Parts and a new battery for the van. I suppose it's better here than at that outpost on the outskirts of death located in Texas Canyon.

8:57 a.m. - Pick up our parents and the caravan to Tombstone begins. The iPad is showing Despicable Me and Abby volunteers to hold the iPad up for all the children to see.

9:04 a.m. - Being the designated iPad holder gets old and Abby hands the movie back to the boys and begins reading her book.

11:12 a.m. - Arrive in Tombstone, AZ. First stop, The Birdcage Theatre. The Birdcage is the original building that held Tombstone's roughest, tumblinest pitstop west of the Mississippi. Nothing has apparently been restored including the 140 some odd bullet holes that mark the walls throughout the building. We listen attentively as the gentleman working the counter begins to regale us with the history of The Birdcage. As talk turns to its bordello history, I'm suddenly aware of how intently my 10 and 7 year old boys are listening. We gotta get out of here.

11:30 a.m. - We have to decide whether we will do the comedy gun fight first or go to lunch. According to our children, they are "dyyyyyiinnnggggg!!!!!" I guess we will eat lunch.



We choose a place called Cafe Marguarita's. Best part of our Tombstone experience. The food was fantastic and not terribly overpriced. We would soon discover that is not the norm here in the town where highway robbery has evolved into charging exorbitant rates for very little in return. I got up to take a picture of our party and discovered that our camera battery was very low. Thankfully there was outlet nearby and I plugged in the recharger.



1:00 p.m. - Attend a "comedy" gun fight next to the restaurant. We are a long ways from Hollywood. One guy's "comedy acting skills" included and are limited to staggering around attempting unsuccessfully to portray drunkenness and sticking his tongue out to draw laughter. The others aren't as bad, but...Eh. The kids enjoyed it though, and Abby even got to hold a real gun filled with blanks. I guess that was worth it if nothing else.



2:03 p.m. - The one thing I'd been looking forward to, The Haunted History of Tombstone is...closed for the day. We continue to peruse stores and make our way to...



2:35 p.m. - The O.K. Corral. This bastion of old west history and we are finally there. I walk in ready to show my kids a true historical spot. Admission: $10 per person no exceptions for age except for those 3 and under who are free. Fifty dollars to get my family in to walk around a dirt patch where some people killed each other a hundred plus years ago, except it didn't even happen there but rather in the photography studio next door? I think not. I point through the doors where we would have gone had we paid and said, "There's the O.K. Corrall, kids. Who wants ice cream?"



2:48 p.m. - We are all sitting on the sidewalk in Tombstone enjoying an ice cream cone. Suddenly, Kate comes up to Shannon's mom and starts wiping her ice cream covered hands on her shirt. When pressed for an explanation, she replies, "I'm cleaning up."

3:30 p.m. - Our Tombstone adventure has come to an end and we are back in the van and on our way to Tucson. I decide to take a back road that leads to Sonoita rather than going straight back to the interstate. This route is definitely one of the most underrated in Arizona. Much more scenic than I10 just twenty miles to the north. We tell the boys they can't watch another movie on the iPad so they start clamoring for the book tape they've been listening to with Mom. Plum Pudding Murder. These books cause me literal pain. For one; the heroine of these novels is a woman who has spent years trying to decide between two men, one the perfect man in a woman's eyes and the other a dashing ne'er-do-well. Both keep hanging around waiting for her to make her decision while continuing their strong friendship with each other. I am convinced this woman had no boy friends in high school and is probably still unmarried, not by choice. Two; Any food item mentioned in a chapter has its recipe listed at chapter's end. I'm not even going to comment on that except to say that I have to admit one of our family's favorite desserts came from one of these novels. That still doesn't make it ok. I pull out my iPod and despite the possible illegality, I put both earbuds firmly in place and enjoy Chris Isaak for the next several miles rather than 'Plum Pudding Murder'.

5:00 p.m. - Arrive at the Marriott Starr Pass resort. Holy crap!!! This place is pretty amazing. A slight improvement over the Silver Nugget B&B back in Tombstone.

5:23 p.m. - We have been here for twenty minutes or less and are already in the lazy river. Kids are going nuts. This is why we came.

6:50 p.m. - I get out of the pool and look longlingly at the beautiful golf course located just next to the pool and our room. Sadly, this is not why we came.

7:42 p.m. - Braden, my dad, Marilyn and I head into town to get Chipotle for dinner. Highlights include: Almost jaywalking right in front of a police officer, a massively long train speeding through town right in front of us and contemplating a derailment and finally, navigating the streets of Tucson at night. That's more of an old west adventure than anything else we'd experienced that day. I'm reminded yet again as to why I despise Tucson in general.

10:04 p.m. - Time for bed. We put the two boys in one bed, Abby in the Roll-away, Kate on some pillows in the corner and Shannon and I take the second double bed. There was a time in our marriage where this acceptable. Those days are long gone. I need my space and so does she.



11:07 p.m. - Due to the tight confines, massive moving by everyone else in the room and other various and sundry noises, I get up and leave the room to seek solace in the lobby. I nap on and off for two and a half hours before trying once again for sleep in our room. I think my total sleep time for the night topped out at 3.7 hours.

Friday, March 23 - 6:30 a.m. - Can't lay in my bed another minute. Get up, shower and take off. After walking around the resort, I take off for the grocery to get milk for breakfast.

8:02 a.m. - Arrive back at the room only to find everybody still asleep. Unacceptable. I wake everyone up and hurry them along so we can get started on our hike. Shouldn't take too long, right?

10:07 a.m. - Finally leave for our hike. The resort is right next to some hiking paths through the foothills. Here are some of the things we learned on our two mile hike: 1. While it may be exciting for people not from Arizona, hiking through the desert amounts to little more than walking through the desert which can be done right outside our front door at any time we choose. 2. Two miles is a lot longer on paths filled with jutting rocks and that change elevation quite often. 3. Two miles is even longer when your three year old refuses to walk where ever an elevation change (up or down) occurs and you end up carrying her three quarters of the two mile hike. 4. Abby is not a hiker. Once we were back to the hotel, she vowed never again to hike in her life. A bit premature? Maybe.





11:37 a.m. - Back at the hotel and the family is ready to swim again. Everyone but me. I choose to try and get a nap.

11:43 a.m. - On the way to the pool, the entire family gets out of the elevator except Kate. She dawdles and the door ends up closing on her. Shannon immediately pushes the button to open the door and it opens after a couple of seconds, but those seconds are enough to cause a major emotional breakdown when the doors reopen.

11:56 a.m. - My nap is cut short by housekeeping. I give up and go get lunch for the family at Subway.

1:30 p.m. - Abby and I leave to go watch The Hunger Games. I will not engage in a lengthy review. I will suffice it to say I have read the books and give the movie an 8 out of 10. I give the book a 10 out of 10. Good Father/Daughter time except for a couple of the previews that caused me extreme embarrassment.

2:00 p.m. - While we are gone, Shannon and the kids decide to tour the entire resort and they walk it from one end to the other. That is not a short walk. When they stick their heads in to see the ballroom, an employee asks if they need anything. Upon their explanation that no, they are just looking around, the employee volunteers to show them the behind the scenes of hotel catering. Braden is in seventh heaven. Meanwhile, Logan is captivated by any stairs he comes across. They come across a lot of stairs.





5:20 p.m. - Abby and I return and rejoin the family in the lazy river. Trying to walk against the current in a lazy river is not easy. Just an observation.







7:10 p.m. - Tonight, we decide to eat at The Signature Grill located at the resort. Once our orders were taken, the waiter brings out a basket filled with their bread selections. Included is a paper thin bread covered in pecans and sesame seeds. It is as brittle as...well, peanut brittle. It is amazing. Other highlights include: The kids' buffet. It consisted of Mac and Cheese, mini-corn dogs, chicken fingers and french fries. To top it off, they had cookies and delectable little cupcakes. I almost wished I was eligible for the kids' buffet. Admittedly, I added some items to their plates and devoured them (three cupcakes) when the waiters weren't looking. Also, we're fairly certain the couple next to us got engaged while we were sitting there. Very sweet. At least Shannon thought so. I honestly didn't notice.





9:30 p.m. - Got the kids to bed and then Shannon and I returned to the patio area and sat near a fire pit overlooking the lights of Tucson. It was very relaxing and a nice way to end our last evening at Starr Pass.

1:30 a.m. - Kate wakes up screaming. She is exceedingly frightened of the "snoring monsters" in our room. Due to my extreme exhaustion and the effects of my allergies, I probably have to admit I may have been one of those snoring monsters.

8:30 a.m. - The next morning consisted of checking out and heading over to Reid Park Zoo. It was sad for the entire family to say goodbye to this beautiful resort.

10:30 a.m. - Arrive at Reid Park Zoo. Very nice little zoo, but I can already tell this will be a short visit. We are all dragging from fun-filled days and nights not so filled with sleep.

12:40 p.m. - Lunch at Applebees. I am highly saddened by the fact that my oldest daughter no longer wants me to order for her. In fact, she takes major exception to it.

1:52 p.m. - Thankfully, Shannon says she can drive as a full belly has put me over the top and I don't even make it out of Tucson before I am falling asleep. It must have been pretty bad as I generally struggle to sleep in cars.

Overall, a very enjoyable weekend getaway.

Wedding Of The Century

After months of preparation and planning, Shannon's brother, David got married to Jillian Curtis this past Wednesday evening, December 28, 2011. I'm not sure what this says about my social circle or level of life experiences, but this was by far the biggest event and party I have ever been involved with in my life. And if it was the biggest event I've ever been to, it goes without saying it surpassed anything my children had ever experienced as well. I can't speak for Shannon as there's always the possibility she's been hiding her secret past as a major player in the Gila Valley social scene prior to my meeting her in college. Listed below are the highlights of our exciting trip to Tucson and the enjoyable time we had at David and Jillian's wedding.

-Woke up at 7:00 a.m. with the express purpose of getting out of town by 9:00 a.m. We left at 10:00 a.m.

-My new work iPhone led us directly to the closest Applebee's upon reaching Tucson. The voice of Siri, the phone information system, is so nice, polite and helpful I couldn't help but commend her on her amazing abilities. She responded that my wish was her command. How do I get Siri installed in Shannon?

-While we were at lunch, David called us to invite us to his room at the Arizona Inn to get ready. He was hanging out by himself and would welcome the company. I was worried we were still quite far away from the hotel, but Siri calmed my fears and let me know that we were a mere four miles away. She can be such a comfort.

The hotel was clearly older but it was pretty impressive. The grounds were beautiful and once we got back to David's room (Honeymoon Suite) my jaw dropped. His room was larger than our first apartment. Ok, the box my daughter's boots came in was larger than our first apartment so maybe that isn't a good comparison. The room was bigger than our condo we lived in after our first apartment...and gorgeous. All the furniture was antique and the fire place made the whole thing feel quite cozy.

We relaxed for a bit and then Kate decided she needed to see the pool. So she and I went for a walk and found the pool, the tennis courts and the fountain. It was a pleasant walk.

-When we got back to the room, the photographer and the videographer where there to document the getting ready portion of the day. Logan, Braden and Kate did not disappoint in providing several great shots althought Kate was not thrilled about being part of that process.





-Picture time! No matter how fancy or nice the occasion, no wedding seems to be able to avoid the death trap of picture taking. Fortunately, our family got off easy. The same couldn't be said for those in the wedding party including Shannon's brothers Clinton and Cody and our parents.

-The actual ceremony itself took place on the grounds near the fountain. It was very nice and both David's and Jillian's vows were very sweet. During the ceremony, Kate was a typical three year old and had to be cajoled/restrained/bribed at certain points. At one particular juncture, my sister-in-law, Danica, tossed me some gummy treats. In the dead silence of a wedding as the officiator spoke, I began my assault on the most vicious cellophane wrapper I've ever encountered. I would have stopped immediately, but Kate was now determined to have gummy treats and would have made even more noise had I stopped. Finally, Shannon took the package and beat the wrapper into submission.

-At the end of the ceremony, music broke out and the bride and groom broke into dancing as did the bridesmaids and a couple of groomsmen. My two brother-in-laws, Cody and Clinton, broke into extremely uncomfortable facial expressions and the tiniest movement that resembled swaying. Once everyone was back down the aisle, David and Jillian hopped on bicycles in lieu of a car to drive off following their wedding. Major props to my new sister-in-law for pulling off riding a bicycle ride in her wedding dress.

-Back to the front of the hotel and while everyone else got to retire to the open bar and finger foods, the families and wedding party got to...take more pictures. Unfortunately, the sun had slipped below the horizon and the temperature had dropped about 15 degrees in 10 minutes. Not a problem for those in the reception area where the heaters were located. Big problem for those located out front taking pictures. This was where Kate had her one major meltdown. She was cold and she wanted a jacket that fit her, or a 'tiny jacket' as she kept saying. We didn't have a tiny jacket and that was a concept she couldn't accept. Major hysterics ensued.

-One of my lifelong dreams was fulfilled as we finished with pictures and made our way to the reception area. The open bar included Dr. Pepper. Now think about this: An entire evening with as much free Dr. Pepper as I could ever want. Too bad I quit drinking the regular stuff six months ago. DANG IT!!! I gave in and had two or three anyway just so my dream would not die in vain.

-Dinner was one of the most amazing steaks I've ever had. Shannon said hers wasn't cooked enough which means the steaks were perfect. To top them off they were stuffed with mushrooms. Add this to the free Dr. Pepper and I wasn't quite sure I hadn't died and woken up in the alternate universe where perfection resides. Then my kids got served their meals which included tiny ketchup bottles all to themselves and I was reminded that no, this was not heaven after all.





-We toasted the bride and groom several times and Logan and I had a ball tinkling our glasses.



-Start the dancing. The Claridge side of the family represented well and we learned that new generation of Rapiers will be carrying on the tradition of uninhibited expression through dance. Abby, Braden and Logan all had a blast dancing until the wee hours of the...well ok, eleven o'clock. There were some single girls in their twenties that work with Jillian in Flagstaff there who were not dancing. Shannon told Braden, Bryson and Logan she would give them five dollars each to ask them to dance. Bryson marched straight up and earned his five dollars immediately. Logan started toward them and got five feet away when he chickened out. He came back and told Shannon, "I just couldn't do it, mom." Fortunately, the young women were very nice and one of them came and asked him. He looked at Shannon and said, "What should I do?" She told him to start moving and so...he totally got moving. All three boys continued to ask the females to dance for the rest of the evening.



















-Somewhere between 9:30 and 10:00, Kate decided she'd had enough and laid her head down on the table and went to sleep. Probably for the best.



-At 11:00, we decided we really needed to get headed back for Thatcher and so we informed our children we were leaving. We might as well have told them we'd cancelled Christmas for next year. Much weeping and wailing.

It was a beautiful day and one that will live in our memories for the rest of our lives. Congratulations David and Jillian and good luck in your new life together.