Spring Break Fever

There's a phenomenon that occurs here in Thatcher that I haven't truly experienced before. When the week of Spring Break arrives, by at least Thursday, the town has emptied like a cruise ship preparing to slip beneath the ocean. It seems as if nobody is here. As Shannon and I heard from person after person regarding their plans and then looked at our uneventful week laid out before us on the calendar, we felt a small amount of guilt for our sheltered and boring family.

Thankfully, Shannon's mother works for the Marriott here locally and so before all was a total loss, we were able to formulate some plans and join the mass exodus out of town.

Rather than break it down by days, I will recap the entire trip in one setting:

Thursday, March 22 - 8:17 a.m. - A mere seventeen minutes after we had anticipated leaving, we are ready to go. Shannon and I pile everyone into the car and I turn the ignition...That didn't sound good. I turn off the car and start it again. It takes even longer than last time. So, instead of Tombstone being our first destination, we set out for O'Reilly Auto Parts and a new battery for the van. I suppose it's better here than at that outpost on the outskirts of death located in Texas Canyon.

8:57 a.m. - Pick up our parents and the caravan to Tombstone begins. The iPad is showing Despicable Me and Abby volunteers to hold the iPad up for all the children to see.

9:04 a.m. - Being the designated iPad holder gets old and Abby hands the movie back to the boys and begins reading her book.

11:12 a.m. - Arrive in Tombstone, AZ. First stop, The Birdcage Theatre. The Birdcage is the original building that held Tombstone's roughest, tumblinest pitstop west of the Mississippi. Nothing has apparently been restored including the 140 some odd bullet holes that mark the walls throughout the building. We listen attentively as the gentleman working the counter begins to regale us with the history of The Birdcage. As talk turns to its bordello history, I'm suddenly aware of how intently my 10 and 7 year old boys are listening. We gotta get out of here.

11:30 a.m. - We have to decide whether we will do the comedy gun fight first or go to lunch. According to our children, they are "dyyyyyiinnnggggg!!!!!" I guess we will eat lunch.



We choose a place called Cafe Marguarita's. Best part of our Tombstone experience. The food was fantastic and not terribly overpriced. We would soon discover that is not the norm here in the town where highway robbery has evolved into charging exorbitant rates for very little in return. I got up to take a picture of our party and discovered that our camera battery was very low. Thankfully there was outlet nearby and I plugged in the recharger.



1:00 p.m. - Attend a "comedy" gun fight next to the restaurant. We are a long ways from Hollywood. One guy's "comedy acting skills" included and are limited to staggering around attempting unsuccessfully to portray drunkenness and sticking his tongue out to draw laughter. The others aren't as bad, but...Eh. The kids enjoyed it though, and Abby even got to hold a real gun filled with blanks. I guess that was worth it if nothing else.



2:03 p.m. - The one thing I'd been looking forward to, The Haunted History of Tombstone is...closed for the day. We continue to peruse stores and make our way to...



2:35 p.m. - The O.K. Corral. This bastion of old west history and we are finally there. I walk in ready to show my kids a true historical spot. Admission: $10 per person no exceptions for age except for those 3 and under who are free. Fifty dollars to get my family in to walk around a dirt patch where some people killed each other a hundred plus years ago, except it didn't even happen there but rather in the photography studio next door? I think not. I point through the doors where we would have gone had we paid and said, "There's the O.K. Corrall, kids. Who wants ice cream?"



2:48 p.m. - We are all sitting on the sidewalk in Tombstone enjoying an ice cream cone. Suddenly, Kate comes up to Shannon's mom and starts wiping her ice cream covered hands on her shirt. When pressed for an explanation, she replies, "I'm cleaning up."

3:30 p.m. - Our Tombstone adventure has come to an end and we are back in the van and on our way to Tucson. I decide to take a back road that leads to Sonoita rather than going straight back to the interstate. This route is definitely one of the most underrated in Arizona. Much more scenic than I10 just twenty miles to the north. We tell the boys they can't watch another movie on the iPad so they start clamoring for the book tape they've been listening to with Mom. Plum Pudding Murder. These books cause me literal pain. For one; the heroine of these novels is a woman who has spent years trying to decide between two men, one the perfect man in a woman's eyes and the other a dashing ne'er-do-well. Both keep hanging around waiting for her to make her decision while continuing their strong friendship with each other. I am convinced this woman had no boy friends in high school and is probably still unmarried, not by choice. Two; Any food item mentioned in a chapter has its recipe listed at chapter's end. I'm not even going to comment on that except to say that I have to admit one of our family's favorite desserts came from one of these novels. That still doesn't make it ok. I pull out my iPod and despite the possible illegality, I put both earbuds firmly in place and enjoy Chris Isaak for the next several miles rather than 'Plum Pudding Murder'.

5:00 p.m. - Arrive at the Marriott Starr Pass resort. Holy crap!!! This place is pretty amazing. A slight improvement over the Silver Nugget B&B back in Tombstone.

5:23 p.m. - We have been here for twenty minutes or less and are already in the lazy river. Kids are going nuts. This is why we came.

6:50 p.m. - I get out of the pool and look longlingly at the beautiful golf course located just next to the pool and our room. Sadly, this is not why we came.

7:42 p.m. - Braden, my dad, Marilyn and I head into town to get Chipotle for dinner. Highlights include: Almost jaywalking right in front of a police officer, a massively long train speeding through town right in front of us and contemplating a derailment and finally, navigating the streets of Tucson at night. That's more of an old west adventure than anything else we'd experienced that day. I'm reminded yet again as to why I despise Tucson in general.

10:04 p.m. - Time for bed. We put the two boys in one bed, Abby in the Roll-away, Kate on some pillows in the corner and Shannon and I take the second double bed. There was a time in our marriage where this acceptable. Those days are long gone. I need my space and so does she.



11:07 p.m. - Due to the tight confines, massive moving by everyone else in the room and other various and sundry noises, I get up and leave the room to seek solace in the lobby. I nap on and off for two and a half hours before trying once again for sleep in our room. I think my total sleep time for the night topped out at 3.7 hours.

Friday, March 23 - 6:30 a.m. - Can't lay in my bed another minute. Get up, shower and take off. After walking around the resort, I take off for the grocery to get milk for breakfast.

8:02 a.m. - Arrive back at the room only to find everybody still asleep. Unacceptable. I wake everyone up and hurry them along so we can get started on our hike. Shouldn't take too long, right?

10:07 a.m. - Finally leave for our hike. The resort is right next to some hiking paths through the foothills. Here are some of the things we learned on our two mile hike: 1. While it may be exciting for people not from Arizona, hiking through the desert amounts to little more than walking through the desert which can be done right outside our front door at any time we choose. 2. Two miles is a lot longer on paths filled with jutting rocks and that change elevation quite often. 3. Two miles is even longer when your three year old refuses to walk where ever an elevation change (up or down) occurs and you end up carrying her three quarters of the two mile hike. 4. Abby is not a hiker. Once we were back to the hotel, she vowed never again to hike in her life. A bit premature? Maybe.





11:37 a.m. - Back at the hotel and the family is ready to swim again. Everyone but me. I choose to try and get a nap.

11:43 a.m. - On the way to the pool, the entire family gets out of the elevator except Kate. She dawdles and the door ends up closing on her. Shannon immediately pushes the button to open the door and it opens after a couple of seconds, but those seconds are enough to cause a major emotional breakdown when the doors reopen.

11:56 a.m. - My nap is cut short by housekeeping. I give up and go get lunch for the family at Subway.

1:30 p.m. - Abby and I leave to go watch The Hunger Games. I will not engage in a lengthy review. I will suffice it to say I have read the books and give the movie an 8 out of 10. I give the book a 10 out of 10. Good Father/Daughter time except for a couple of the previews that caused me extreme embarrassment.

2:00 p.m. - While we are gone, Shannon and the kids decide to tour the entire resort and they walk it from one end to the other. That is not a short walk. When they stick their heads in to see the ballroom, an employee asks if they need anything. Upon their explanation that no, they are just looking around, the employee volunteers to show them the behind the scenes of hotel catering. Braden is in seventh heaven. Meanwhile, Logan is captivated by any stairs he comes across. They come across a lot of stairs.





5:20 p.m. - Abby and I return and rejoin the family in the lazy river. Trying to walk against the current in a lazy river is not easy. Just an observation.







7:10 p.m. - Tonight, we decide to eat at The Signature Grill located at the resort. Once our orders were taken, the waiter brings out a basket filled with their bread selections. Included is a paper thin bread covered in pecans and sesame seeds. It is as brittle as...well, peanut brittle. It is amazing. Other highlights include: The kids' buffet. It consisted of Mac and Cheese, mini-corn dogs, chicken fingers and french fries. To top it off, they had cookies and delectable little cupcakes. I almost wished I was eligible for the kids' buffet. Admittedly, I added some items to their plates and devoured them (three cupcakes) when the waiters weren't looking. Also, we're fairly certain the couple next to us got engaged while we were sitting there. Very sweet. At least Shannon thought so. I honestly didn't notice.





9:30 p.m. - Got the kids to bed and then Shannon and I returned to the patio area and sat near a fire pit overlooking the lights of Tucson. It was very relaxing and a nice way to end our last evening at Starr Pass.

1:30 a.m. - Kate wakes up screaming. She is exceedingly frightened of the "snoring monsters" in our room. Due to my extreme exhaustion and the effects of my allergies, I probably have to admit I may have been one of those snoring monsters.

8:30 a.m. - The next morning consisted of checking out and heading over to Reid Park Zoo. It was sad for the entire family to say goodbye to this beautiful resort.

10:30 a.m. - Arrive at Reid Park Zoo. Very nice little zoo, but I can already tell this will be a short visit. We are all dragging from fun-filled days and nights not so filled with sleep.

12:40 p.m. - Lunch at Applebees. I am highly saddened by the fact that my oldest daughter no longer wants me to order for her. In fact, she takes major exception to it.

1:52 p.m. - Thankfully, Shannon says she can drive as a full belly has put me over the top and I don't even make it out of Tucson before I am falling asleep. It must have been pretty bad as I generally struggle to sleep in cars.

Overall, a very enjoyable weekend getaway.