A Surreal Reality

There are some situations in life you wonder how you will handle them when they arise, but you don't really want to know because those situations suck. I suppose last week would qualify as one of those situations. Without dwelling too much on things that are depressing, I guess I will share some of the experiences I had last week as we dealt with the passing of my mother.

On Wednesday morning, my dad called to let me know my mom had taken another turn for the worse and wasn't sure how long we had. I had never been one who felt they wanted to be there when the moment arrived and so I asked my dad if he wanted me to come or if he was ok. He said he was ok, but would keep me updated. As it turned out, it wouldn't have mattered anyway as he called me back less than an hour later to let me know that my mom had passed away. I dropped everything to go and be with him. That was one of the weirdest moments of my life. Being with my dad in the house I grew up in, planning my mother's funeral with her being in the other room, yet not. As fortune would have it, my brother was already in transit from Utah just to come and visit and so he and Kirt arrived at 6 that night.

One of my favorite people in the world, my cousin Michael. The only downside about being around him is, he is such a fashion plate that he always looks so much better than I do. Oh well, at least I can claim him as a relative.

My dad's only real request that he really wanted was that my mom have a red casket. Because of the amount of time he wanted to have between the passing and the funeral (Wednesday to Saturday), it looked like we would not be able to get a red one. Thankfully, the folks at Caldwell went out of their way and were able to find one in Tucson. We found out the next day the reason he really wanted that red casket. He told us that she always looked good in red.

By Friday, family had started to arrive and so we did what any family would do living in the Gila Valley...We gathered at Casa Manana. I felt a little bad for the owners of Casa. It was already a very busy Friday night, but then you throw in our little party of 22 and it slightly taxed their whole system. But they took good care of us and you can't beat their fish tacos. Shannon has raved about them for years and I am only recently getting on board, but they tasted good.

Logan did not like having to wear a flower. However, his problem seemed small when Braden found out that being an Honorary Pall Bearer didn't entitle him to actually try and help carry the casket. In his own words, "Honorary means you don't get to do anything!"

The day of the funeral it just didn't seem real. Shannon had worked so hard on a number of collages and display items that when she was in the midst of getting it together it seemed like a lot of effort for such a short amount of time. But when it was all put in place, it made such a wonderful difference. Special thanks to Kerrie Scarbrough for all of her help on the collages. Of course, all of this means that I have to admit that my wife is smarter and wiser than I am...again. She did such a wonderful job and the effect it had on my dad made me just that much more grateful to have married such an angel.



It was nice to see so many people who mean so much to us. Some of my favorite people in the world were there and I realize yet again how little I see some of the people who mean the most to me. My three best friends from high school came and we realized the four of us had not been in the same place for over 20 years. Needless to say, we took a picture. It is funny because Jerry saw all of us talking at the gravesite and ran over to Shannon and said, "You have got to get a picture of that." "Already taken care of", she said. She is so perfect she might be getting a bit smug about it at this point. Just kidding dear. It meant so much to me to have everyone come who did. My friend Jared and his sister drove down from Salt Lake on about 36 hours notice. I don't know if I could ever put into words how much that meant to me.

First time in 20 years we were all together. If only Brandon had been there. We took this picture in order of hair loss. It is sad that I got the end position of that line up.

That night, we invited Jared and Allison (his sister) to stay and play Runs and Bunches (a rummy type game played with Rook cards) with us. It seemed the fitting tribute to my mom as this was such a staple in our family. In fact, on the way home that night, Shannon said she could remember when we were first married, coming to Duncan and spending weekends where we would get up, play cards, eat, play cards, eat some more, play cards until Midnight and then go to bed. Good times. So we played in memory of my mom and we remembered and laughed and it was great. We may have times of sorrow still to come, but that night was truly a happy time on the day we said goodbye to a great lady.

I love you Mom!

Kate did amazingly well. However, by this point, she was about done.


In other news, the previous weekend had seen the arrival of sod for our front yard. With the help of Heath, Rhett and Paul McMaster, along with several of Paul and Rhett's boys, we got it all laid out and from the picture you can see how the progress is going on the yard project. I can honestly say that in spite of all of the days of massive amounts of dust blowing right in my face while putting in the sprinkler system, there is no better feeling in the world than watching your sprinklers come on without you doing anything to make it happen. It is a beautiful thing.