The Good, The Proud and The Ugly

First off, even though it was a couple of weeks ago, I recently went on a four day trip to Chicago. Alas, it was not for fun and it was a solo trip. Although Shannon's good friend Anna (the only other person I know who would definitely have experience in this matter) might disagree, shopping up and down Michigan Avenue just isn't a lot of fun by yourself. (The one exception to this is the Nike store. Holy Cow that place is awesome.) I did eat pretty well and the weather was absolutely wonderful (78 degrees when I left and 102 in Phoenix when I landed), but all in all, I didn't get out of the hotel very much. The exception being one night when I went to a client dinner with the publishers of our hospital quarterly mailer. I got to meet Ashley, my associate publisher whom I have worked with for over a year but never met and found out that she googles her clients and has actually read this blog. So a shout out to Ashley if she is reading this. Also, I was seated next to a couple from Texas. They were very friendly and during the course of our conversation I discovered that he is a golfing buddy of George W. Bush. I mean, love him or hate him, how cool would it be to be a golfing buddy of a former president. Especially that one who always had his claim to fame being that he was a president who people felt was like a regular guy. Very nice evening. The other night consisted of a lot of ESPN watching. On the last day, just before returning to the airport, I took the time to run out and get a picture of Lake Michigan for Braden who wanted to see what it looked like and then I ventured over to get a picture of Wrigley Field. So below are pictures of the view from right outside my hotel and then Lake Michigan and Wrigley.













The craziest thing to me was that Wrigley is literally right in the middle of a neighborhood. The picture of Harry Carrey's Tavern and the shot of the stadium from the 7-11 parking lot are taken from the exact same place just rotating my body. And yes, those are houses right next to the tavern. And I complain about the traffic I deal with in front of my house on 1st Avenue in Thatcher. Can you imagine game day in Chicago? Yuck! The front shot of Wrigley is taken from a McDonald's parking lot right across the street. Not a fancy McDonald's, just a regular Mickey D's. With my only experience with professional sports stadiums being Bank One...excuse me Chase Field, US Airways Center and ASU stadium, Wrigley Field was downright surreal to me. Anyway, pretty cool to see the sign that once read, "SAVE FERRIS".

CHANGING GEARS

Whenever I come home from the Priesthood session of conference, Shannon always asks me how it was and I always reply that it was awesome or amazing or some other superlative of that nature. (I have never written the word superlative in a sentence before. Feeling pretty proud of myself at the moment. I hope I have the definition right.) I answer this way because it always is. So when she asked me this last saturday evening, I needed some other answer because the same ol same ol would not have sufficed. So I responded, "Life changing." Looking back, maybe that wasn't the right response, because they should all be life changing, but the perspective I gained was certainly life altering in that I will feel ashamed to revert to thinking similarly to the way I may have thought before that meeting.

I refer specifically to two different talks that were given. The first was by Elder Juan Uceda and the second was by President Uchtdorf. Elder Uceda's talk was piercing and all too familiar in its descriptions of an event that mirrored some that have occured in my own home. He spoke of a father wanting to enforce a righteous principal of scripture reading with his family. When his daughter resisted, he raised his voice in righteous indignation declaring, "In my home, we will always read the scriptures." His daughter ran from the room. In the end, the humbled father went to his daughter's room and found her crying. Due to a prompting of the Spirit, he apologized. He simply said, "I am sorry. I did not mean to hurt you." He didn't try to expound on how he was actually right or explain why his actions were justified in trying to teach a righteous principal, he simply apologized. And then the Spirit returned.

I had lost my temper with Logan a few days previous and in my attempt to enforce good rules, I gave him a flick to the forehead. He cried. It wasn't the crying that stuck in my mind. It was that I don't do that often to my kids and in this situation, I was in the wrong. The vision I carried for the next several days was the look of betrayal and confusion on his face that immediately followed my actions. It was as if he was saying to me, "Dad, I thought we were buddies. Why would you do that to me?" After hearing this talk, I knew I needed to find the right time to follow Elder Uceda's counsel.

So last night for Family Home Evening, I taught the lesson and I told them the story from the talk. We talked about it for a little bit and I explained the definition of the natural man. Then, I pointed out a time to each child and my wife when I was wrong. When I had not been an effective father or husband. And I said, I'm sorry. Logan teared up and hugged me tightly. Braden began to cry and hugged even longer. Abby...well, she is 11 and very cool so she gave me the double head bob, but her small grin implied that she accepted my apology. One of the best moments I have ever had as a father occured that night. And it wasn't because of any amazing thing that I had done. It was because I followed Elder Uceda's counsel and took a heaping serving of humble pie.

It has caused me to look at President Uchtdorf's comments a little closer as well. For most of my life, I have been very politically aware. I have even at times described myself as rabidly conservative. I now look at our political landscape and the way it reflects back on me and I am not proud of what I see. When I said that the meeting was life changing to my wife, this is what I meant. Standing up and fighting for what I believe with a loud voice and clenched fist has gotten me very little. One of the best examples I can give is this:

When the lead singer of the Dixie Chicks, Natalie Maines, made her infamous comments about George W. in Britain, I was right there with much of America screaming for their heads. I vowed to never buy another Dixie Chicks album and was pleased as I watched their careers shatter. They had done wrong by me and my political beliefs and they needed to pay the proper price. Now, however many years later, I regret what happened to them. All along they claimed they were just exercising their freedom of speech and shouldn't be held accountable to the level they were. I rationalized that you have the right to free speech but not the reactions of those you speak to. In the end, we were both right. But the bottom line is this, I haven't heard any new Dixie Chicks music in years. I really like them. I still don't agree with what they said, but in hindsight, it was pretty minimal. And now, their careers are over and I get no new music from one of my favorite artistic groups. Who is the winner?

People who I would have said share my political beliefs can be seen everywhere espousing behavior I would never condone in a religious setting, but up until now, have been more than willing to accept in a political one. Bill O'Reilly's new book is entitled Pinheads and Patriots. Who is Bill O'Reilly to define patriotism and who gains anything by calling someone else a pinhead? Ann Coulter has a book entitled Treason. Rush Limbaugh has made the phrase, "Reaching across the aisle" a swear word. What good is coming of any of these caustic comments? These "prideful" commentaries of those with whom we disagree. Many on my side of the political spectrum would point out that the left is just as guilty if not more so. I would have made that same argument. In fact I have many times. Now my answer is, So What? I specifically now remember a teaching that an eye for an eye is not the correct course of action for one who would call themselves Christian.

My ramblings have become just that, ramblings. But for me, Saturday evening, October 2nd, was eye opening. And humbling. Oh so very humbling. My new year's resolution in October is: In all aspects of my life from family to work to politics to church, I am going to stand for what I believe. But I will do all I can not to offend in the process. Others may find offense in what I believe, and that is their choice. But I pray they find no offense in my manner or delivery. I will strive to see others as my brothers and sisters rather than my enemies. And in my personal or public situations, I will remember that the hardliners, a description I have used for myself in the past, ended up on the wrong side of the stories told by Matthew, Mark, Luke and John.