Shannon's Trip To The Big House (Casa Grande)

Just like millions of other people in the world, our family sets out goals for the new year in January. Mostly these are family goals, but we also try to set some individual goals as well. We generally do...ok on the family goals. The individual goals? Well, we have a wide range of successes and failures and everything in between. For instance, if my personal goal for the year was to hug my kids everyday and tell them that I love them, I have done very well with this goal. Every other personal goal I have ever set has fallen somewhere behind this level of success.

I bring this up because for 2010, one of Shannon's top priorities was to get in better shape. Now you may be surprised to learn that this one crops up quite often on our yearly to do lists. But this year, Shannon went about it in a more determined way. She shared her goal with some of her friends, one of which is named Anna Marks. Anna convinced Shannon to train with her for a triathlon in Casa Grande to be held in November. Shannon's first reaction was, yeah right, I don't do triathlons, I just want to get in better shape. But Anna was persistent and said, "We can do this. I have a program that is designed to help get people up to running a 5k in a matter of weeks and we can train for the other things as well. If I don't have someone to do it with, I probably will quit. So do it with me and we will keep each other going." (I paraphrase here to help clarify the point of the conversations. I have witnessed a conversation or two between these two and there is no way the conversation was that short. But you get the idea.)

So Shannon began. She would get up early every morning and run. At first she did it alone with many a plea to me to make sure she got up and did it and not let her sleep. In general, I was helpful. In specific, there was no way in he...heck I was going to get up and run with her, but I was very helpful in bothering her enough to get out bed. However, she took it from there.

Before long, she found a friend, Misty Conrad, who soon became her regular running partner. They trained and eventually were able to complete 3 miles regularly. Swimming was not really an issue as that is her favorite part. Bicycling...well, she was kind of on her own with that one, but she did it. (By the way, when she told me that she had made it all the way up 1st Ave. in Thatcher by herself without stopping, I had to try it myself to see how bad it really is. It's bad. Ten more feet and the local police force would have been finding remains of my coyote ravaged carcase on the side of the road days later.)

So the day of the race arrives. Ok actually the night before, but it isn't really that dramatic to say, the early afternoon on the day before the race arrives. Anyway, we pack up and we leave town. We drop off Kate with our parents (for other purposes which will be discussed in soon to follow blog postings) and the five of us head off. The vehicle's eventual destination is Mesa where we will be staying with Danae and Lamar. However, Anna lives near Tucson and Shannon was staying the night with her and travelling to the race with her so we went to Mesa via Tucson. This actually led to a long conversation with our kids about the meaning of the word via. Long story short, going to Mesa from Thatcher via Tucson makes for a looong drive.

We stopped off for a pasta dinner that was quite good and then we dropped off Shannon. Now we left Thatcher at 4:00. By the time we had the pasta dinner, dropped off Shannon, made it through the two wrecks on I-10 before we could even get to Tucson and then made it to Mesa, it was 10:00 p.m. The fact that to keep the peace with Abby I had to listen to Radio Disney for a good portion of the trip did not somehow make the time go faster.

The next morning, our little family made its way to cheer on our favorite soon to be triathlete. We started down the road to Central Community College and who do we see bicycling down the road? Our MOM!!!! Yeah!!!! So we got to the campus and set up waiting for the opportunity to take this picture.



We then got to see her take off running (walking, but very quickly) and began the wait for her to cross the finish line. About 40 minutes later, we got to cheer her home and Shannon was able to call herself a triathlete, and she even has the medal to prove it.



We are so proud of her and all she did make this goal a reality this year. We appreciate all those who helped her get there including Anna, Misty, Stephanie DeSpain and I am sure many others. It was a really neat day and now she is excited to take on the next one.

Meanwhile, the finish of the triathlon was just the beginning of our adventures. Check back in a day or two to see what happens next.

The Accidental TOURist

Does anyone remember that old Saturday Night Live sketch with Kevin Nealon called Mr. Subliminal? It was an awesome sketch. For those who don't know, Mr. Subliminal would be holding a conversation and slip in subliminal thoughts throughout. I will demonstrate as I describe for you my thoughts on this last Saturday's Tour de Safford and Gila Valley Health Raisers' Event.

It was a (long) really awesome (long) event that provided a (long) unique opportunity to (long) see some amazing athletes (long) compete in a (long) unique event we don't see in the Gila Valley very (long) often.

Now granted, the above sentence is not my most effective use of the English language, but hopefully you got the idea.

I can't begin to tell you how early 4 o'clock in the morning is. It is like finding yourself in a ski lift chair in the dead of winter in a bikini. People do it, but it is so wrong that most sensible people never experience it. Unfortunately, I now know what it is like to be wearing a bikini in the dead of winter...wait, that analogy didn't quite work. Let me try that again. I am now aware of what it feels like to be awake and attempting normal human functions at 4 a.m. To be fair, I have been there before. In fact, in college, I was there a couple times on the other side of going to bed, but those are totally different stories. From my rambling, you can see that I have still not recovered the sleep that was lost from this last weekend. I can't even form coherent thoughts. So let me start from the beginning and try again.

A year ago, the hospital foundation had its first annual Gila Valley Health Raisers' Event which included among other things, a 1/2 marathon and 30 mile bicycle ride. It was a marginal success, but one of the riders was from Mesa and happened to handle some of our insurance needs at the hospital. He approached the foundation and expressed his interest in enlarging the bicycle portion to be more in line with bicycle rides held in Tucson and Mesa. The foundation listened and out of that process, the Tour de Safford was born.

The Tour de Safford consists of a 33 mile bicycle ride that goes for 15 miles down the Airport road and Safford Bryce/Bryce Eden road and then they turn around and come back. I myself am not aware of a personal need to bike 30+ miles, but if others are willing and wanting to do that, I say more power to them.

It also consists of a 66 mile bicycle ride that winds through Solomon and then out to highway 70 by way of Daley Estates and then back through Thatcher and Pima, all the way to Bryce Eden Road and then back in...oh wait, you have to double back over the bridge in Safford and go back out to Daley Estate, down Reay Lane to Bryce Eden Road and then back to the Airport. Other than farmers and ranchers who feel some obsessive need after a rain storm to drive the length of the valley and see how rain fell in every part of the county, I don't know anyone who covers that much of Graham County in their car on a single day, let alone on a bicycle. It is kind of insane. If I go over 66 miles on a regular day in my truck, I am complaining about the cost in gas that I have just incurred. But, oh well.

Finally, the big event is the 104 mile ride. That is right...one hundred and four miles. Some of us could reach the Mexican border if we drove 104 miles. The route is from the Safford Airport, down through Safford, up to Discovery Park Road, across 191 to the old Solomon road and out to Highway 70 then to the 191 south up to 3-Way, then down to Duncan and then back up the 70 to the Safford Airport. Oh and by the way, after you have ridden 100+ miles, you get to make the climb up that hill from Sanchez Road. All I can say is...I will never do that. I just won't. It won't be out of protest or anger or any other reason. I just can't think of anything that would motivate me to the point of wanting to sit on a seat that becomes more and more of a torture device with each passing mile for that amount of time and distance. I think it is crazy. The only thing crazier, is some of the people we met who signed up for this. There were a couple of ladies from Colorado who fly around the country doing century rides (more than 100 miles) every month. Incidentally, they both wrecked less than 25 miles in and were unable to finish the ride. My guess is that the Tour de Safford has been removed from their 2011 calendar.



Anyway, my involvement included helping with registration the night before until 9:30 and then being at the airport at 5:00 a.m. to get the starting line up and functional before heading out to direct traffic. At 7:00 a.m. when the 200 riders who made up the 104 mile ride took off, all joking aside, it was awesome. Only three people in that group were locals and so we had a ton of people coming to our valley for the first time and were getting to experience an October morning in the Gila valley (those kind of mornings which exemplify why we live here). It was hair on the back of the neck standing up kind of cool. Unfortunately, less than a quarter of a mile into the race, one of the first riders hit a cattle guard incorrectly and was thrown face first into the ground. One of the riders right behind him later described it as if the hand of the devil reached up out of the ground and flung him off his bike while his bike remained standing motionless. What was I saying about a great first impression for all the visitors to our valley? By the way, when I say face first, I mean face first and his day was over before it began. He spent the entire ride in our Emergency Room at the hospital. Overall, we ended up with 4 people in the ED from this ride. Those of us who were new to this were horrified. The cyclists themselves? Just another day at the office for them. They said it happens all the time at every ride. That's exciting and perverse all at the same time. The winning riders made it back in just under 4 hours and 40 minutes. Holy Crap! Speeding along in my truck with my Ipod blaring I can barely make that drive in 2 and a half hours. That is sick.



About 9 a.m., I realized that in my early morning stupor (and I mean stupor, I tripped on my way to the shower no less than 5 times because I couldn't get my eyes open) that I had forgotten sun screen...and a hat...and something to drink. I then checked to make sure I was dressed. So I called my wonderful wife Shannon who dropped everything and drove out to provide me with all of the above including my request, which was Dr. Pepper, and my necessary for living need, water. We kissed, she left, and I was alone on a road directing traffic once again.

Also as part of this event, we had the 1/2 marathon again. This event was neat only because a lady from our ward won the female side of this event and came in second overall, just 2 minutes behind the winning male. Major Congrats Kerry, Kerrie, Kerri...(shrug of the shoulders) Good job Sister Scarbrough.





About 10:30, I gave up my road standing job and went into the event to take some pictures. Before long, we realized we were not totally prepared for the taking care of returning riders, so I jumped in and spent the next 4 hours slicing oranges and bananas, keeping water ice cold and handing these items out to riders while visiting with them about the event. Not a bad job really. Had one rider come up and say casually, "Do you have a lot of LDS folks here?" I responded that we did. He said, "I thought so, a lot of the aid station workers looked LDS." I said that we had used many of the scout troops from the local LDS wards. He looked at me and said, "You look LDS." I took it as a compliment although how he could see that through the sweat, dirt and sun burn, I am not totally sure. We had a good little chat.

The 66 and the 33 mile rides went well and everyone from those rides were back by 3 p.m. which is when we were hoping to wrap things up. Unfortunately, we still had about 15 riders out on the 104 course. So while most everyone else went home, myself and handful of others waited for the remaining riders. And we waited...still waiting...waiting a little longer. Finally at 4 p.m., myself and another individual took off in my truck to go find out just who we had left and where they were. As it turned out, we had four riders within fifteen minutes of the end. Unfortunately, we also had one more rider about an hour away. He was a 67 year old man who had never done one of these before and he was not going to quit. To which I say, awesome. Go get 'em dude. However, he is now added to the list of people who are very effective at making me feel like a complete waste of space on this planet.

About 5 p.m., he made it to the finish line and all five of us that were left clapped really loud for the guy. It was pretty cool. He was shaking quite a bit so I had to open his water bottle for him. But I offered him a banana or an orange, both of which he declined. I asked if there was anything else I could get him. He replied that all he wanted was junk food and beer. Why didn't we think of that for the finish line. Dang it. Well, there is always next year. Anyway, by the time I had loaded and then unloaded it was almost 6 p.m. and I still had to get over to the ward trunk or treat with my family. Is there any way I could get out of going without feeling guilt? I couldn't think of one either. It was an exhilirating day. However, I definitely do not want to do this more than once a year. Thirteen straight hours after about 5 hours sleep is not an occurance I think I could handle much more than that.

Over all it was a pretty neat day and we are very excited for next year. The woman in charge of the Tour de Tucson let us know that the first time they held that event, they only had 198 riders. The following year, they had 621. We are definitely looking forward to next year.

Now in an unrelated matter, check back in a couple of weeks for an exciting series of posts that we are holding off on announcing for a surprise effect. It is not that we are trying to surprise anyone reading this blog, it is that we are hoping to surprise our kids. We will see if it works.

Offensive On So Many Levels And The Top 10 Things I Can Never Partake Of Again

I am not sure how this happened, but somehow our ward youth have developed a tradition that I am not sure I am totally down with. For the last three years, we have had a Clue dinner for one of our combined activities. The first year was no big deal because no one knew what to expect. So everyone was given parts and mine was to be the inspector who helped the thing keep moving. Well, since it was everyone's first time, there were points where it wasn't moving very well so I started using a ridiculous French accent (after all, my character's name was Inspector Clue So) and basically started making an idiot of myself. Well I don't know about other people's fake french accents, but mine hurts my voice after a little bit (this may be due to the excessive use of the dirty old man french laugh that accompanies my accent. You know the one I am talking about. The one where the laugh implies that I know what you were doing and you know what you were doing but it wouldn't be very appropriate to talk about in public so I just laugh in this obnoxious way so that everyone knows what you were doing without having to say it out loud...That's right, THAT laugh.) so I eventually started doing other accents that weren't so throat unfriendly. I got a couple of laughs and everyone seemed to have a good time.

Fast forward to the Young Mens/Young Womens planning meeting for the next year and the Clue Dinner is on the agenda again. It was the month after the Where's Waldo activity (see previous post from last year for more info) and it was beginning to feel like the youth advisors should start their own dinner theatre. However, as the time for part distribution came, I found myself a little excited. Kind of like Kramer in the Seinfeld where he does acting for the local medical students. I was excited to see what character I would taking on and to have an opportunity to expand my acting wings. So I get my assignment and it says...Inspect Clue So. WHAT? I seriously thought of pulling a Kramer and coming as one of the other characters, but in this instance that would not have worked out so well. Fortunately the night went off well (especially due to the portrayal of the Miss Scarlett character by Julie Palmer. It will be years before the ward forgets about that). But I did much the same thing with the different accents and pretty much felt like I was as funny as an episode of The Suite Life On Deck. (If you have not been subjected to this atrocity on the Disney Channel, consider yourself truly blessed.)

So now this year rolls around and we are scheduled for another Clue dinner. As it works out, it looks like I will be out of town and so I let Tommy, the YM president, know that they will have to get someone else for the inspector. He lets me know that they will just move the activity to a time when I can be there. Now I swear I am not writing this to pump myself up. I really do think I am about as cheesy as it gets, but I am happy to serve. However, I feel for the kids who have now seen my Inspector Clue So routine two years in a row. So I decide to change it up and come as Inspector Wow Ifat, a Chinese detective on vacation in rural Arizona. That's plausible right? Ok, at least as plausible as a French detective in rural Arizona.

So the night of the event comes and it is time to get the costume on. It ain't much, but I thought it wasn't too bad. I went with Chinese tourist vacation wear. The main thing would be to fully shave my head and get the right facial hair. So I went to Wal Mart and bought a black wig. Brought it home and hoped for the best with the glue options we would have.

I started getting ready. I gave myself plenty of time (40 minutes). Note to anyone out there looking at doing something similar. Elmer's Glue?...not really. Wouldn't stay attached. Unfortunately, it took roughly 20 minutes to figure that out. So, we move to Caro syrup. I mean it works on hair accessories for bald babies, surely it would work here. Not so much. Now my face, hands and fake hair are a sticky mess from the Elmer's and the Caro Syrup and I still have no facial hair. Which by the way, without the facial hair, I pretty much am a large white man in ridiculous clothes, trying to look like I am on vacation. Or in other words, I look like roughly 75 percent of the male population in Tampa. Also, it took another 10 minutes to figure out that the Caro syrup wouldn't work. Now I am really starting to panic. I run to the kitchen and grab the super glue I bought for Braden's model car and rush back to the bathroom. I hand it to Shannon and ask her to get it open while I fashion three more strands of hair since the others are thrashed.

Clearly at this point, I am beyond sanity. So when Shannon starts to read the warnings on the label, the conversation doesn't go well.

"It says not to have any contact with skin. It could cause a rash or major irritation."

"Could is the key word there. Do have any other options?"

"No, but I am not sure this is a great idea."

"Please just get it open, I am running out of time." (I may have not said please, that part is fuzzy)

"It says to wash immediately if any comes in contact with your skin and (I can't remember the sure form of death that was promised) if you get it in your eyes, nose or mouth."

"Yeah?"

"Um, this is going right under your nose and all around your mouth."

"STOP READING and just hand it to me."

"Are you sure?"

"YES!!!"

She reluctantly handed it over and I went for it. Fortunately I can report that it held and other than some watering of the eyes and a burning nose for a short time due to the fumes, it went fairly well. The final product looked like this...




The evening was fun and hopefully everyone had a good time. I spoke in a 1920s Hollywood Chinese accent all night and was far from hilarious, but I think the outfit at least made people chuckle. I am sure the whole routine would fall under the heading of politically incorrect. Thank heavens it is Thatcher and not Berkeley.

One of the other things I did to try and change it up from years past was to include movie quotes that if identified correctly would give a team a clue prior to the start of the game. I didn't want them to be too easy so I thought I would try and do 80's movies. Did anyone else realize just how inappropriate most of the iconic movies of the 80s really are? As I started going through my list of favorite quotes from high school, I was like, "Nope, can't use that one. What about from Fletch, there are some funny ones there...no can't use that one. Ben Dover? No, probably not. Wait, wait, isn't there a good one from...Nooo I probably shouldn't use anything that would imply I recommend that movie either." It was very discouraging.

Right or wrong, it got me thinking about the things from my youth that I loved at the time but now can not have anything to do with as a respectable, God-fearing adult with children. So I decided to list my Top Ten Favorite Entertainment Offerings I Can Never Enjoy Again. See if any of these are familiar to you. Here they are:

10. Friday The 13th: The Series - Now this does not have anything to do with Jason or a hockey mask. This was a little known syndicated series from the late 80s that had bad acting (I am pretty sure I have never seen any of the actors from that show in anything else...ever!), low budget (if any) and a pretty interesting concept. The devil had made a deal with an antique dealer to sell cursed objects. I am pretty hazy how the deal ended, but bottom line, antique dealer died and his niece and nephew (who are good) are tasked with tracking down the cursed items and getting them back before they can cause any further harm.

I came across this show one Friday night when I was in high school and somehow ended up home alone. The object was a cursed Amish quilt that would make the dreams of the person sleeping under it come true. All well and good except that someone had to die every time it was used. I watched in morbid fascination (a mixture of this is really badly produced and a curiosity of where the story was going) until I got to the end and it was continued...AAAAGGGGHHHH!!!!!! So I tuned in the next week and ended up getting addicted to this mess for about six months. Looking back, it was a complete waste of a good hour each week and from a parents point of view, demonic possession of items, horror type scenarios...yeah I would never let my kids watch this. Which is why I was probably pretty vague with my mom about this show. The funny thing about this is, even if I were tempted to try and watch it again, I know for a fact it is not available. The DVD it would be burned on would probably cost more than this show did to produce.

9. Centerfold, J. Giels Band - Ok, before everyone starts thinking terrible things about me, I need to explain this one. This song came out prior to my musical prime. I was pretty young and never really heard the song in its entirety while it was on the charts. But who didn't know the tune? Everybody knew the tune. So when I got into high school, we played it in our pep band. I never really had a lot of good band experiences, but I loved pep band. I love the sound of a band in a sports setting playing songs you can dance to and this one was one of the best. I mean, that iconic tune is awesome. So it wasn't until college that I finally heard the words to this song. Wow, not good. Needless to say it has been off the acceptable list for a while. But if you are being fair, you have to admit that the music without the words would be an awesome addition to your ipod.

8. Crimson Tide - One of my all time favorite movies is The Hunt For Red October. So when I was working at the theatre after high school and this movie trailer came, I was giddy with excitement. However, it hadn't been rated yet. I had a nagging feeling it would be R, but I prayed...ok not really prayed but darn close, that it would be PG 13. When it finally was announced that it was R rated, I screamed in agony. I was dating Shannon at the time and she can attest that I actually did scream. To be honest, I never saw the original version. I only saw the television version and loved it. But obviously I can't see that any time I want nor can I purchase the movie and so Gene and Denzell have drifted off to a place I can no longer go.

7. Most Prince Songs - When I was in junior high or early high school, I liked several Prince songs and some are just fine. However, as an adult, I have realized what he was saying in many of his songs and they are in fact...NOT fine. I got my first inkling about the appropriateness of Prince when I was a freshman. For those in the Gila Valley, remember when you could go to Richard's Music and purchase any 45 record from the Billboard top 100? My brother was way into that and so I would get one every once in a while as well. One time, I had just heard a new Prince song called, "You Got The Look". It was pretty cool. So our next time at Richard's, I bought it. The 45 case had the words to the song written on it. Being ever so naive, I started to read them out loud in the back seat of the car as we were headed to our next errand. We arrived before I finished and my mom went into wherever she was going. My brother turned around from the front seat and said, "You better not read all those out loud or mom will make you take it back." Hmm. I really liked the song so I didn't say anymore but I always took Prince songs with a grain of salt after that. Even today, I will hear a song by Prince in passing and I am pretty sure there is some meaning that I am not getting and it is probably for the best. However, I still love the song Kiss by Prince and he did write one of the songs that would be included in the Honorable Mention secion of my list of Favorite Songs Of All Time, Nothing Compares To You. However, most songs from the Artist Formerly Known As A Symbol have to go on the songs formerly listened to by Ryan Rapier list. (I would probably still listen to Raspberry Beret as well, but Shannon despises that song and I don't like it enough to pick a fight with her over it.)

6. Summer School (and most other 80s teen movies) - The truth is, most of these movies got a PG 13 rating, but the innuendo from 80s movies just astounds me today. How did I not see this at the time? Or maybe I did, but didn't fully understand or have just forgotten. No the truth is I didn't forget. I remember that Summer School was hilarious, but I watched it at a friends house and remember thinking, "Make sure not to watch this one with the parents." However, I still get a chuckle thinking about the very large black guy that takes the bathroom pass 10 minutes into the first day and then doesn't show up again until the final exam...but he does bring the bathroom pass back with him. Don't know why I think that is so funny, but I do.

5. European Vacation - This movie could fit in with the movies in the previous slot, but gets its own mention for a couple of reasons. One, it wasn't really a teen movie and two I laughed a lot more during this movie than most teen movies. Now again, my initial exposure to the movie was an edited version that my friend Jared brought home with him from summer vacation in Utah. Let me clarify, it edited out the nudity. That's about it, because if they had edited out all the inappropriate innuendo, they likely would have ended up with a half hour sitcom. But it has its share of movie quotes that I think of all the time.

"Look Kids, Big Ben, Parliament...Dang it, I can't get left...Look Kids, Big Ben, Parliament...AAAHHH, I can't get left on this roudabout...Look Kids,"

"We know, Big Ben, Parliament."

or

As they pull into Germany in their rental car. Clark leans out the window and says with a catch in his voice, "Ahh my mother's land."

"Isn't Grandma from Chicago."

Still in his emotional voice, "Shut up Russ."

or my favorite movie moment

When Rusty tells Clark while they are on the Eiffel Tower that he hates the berets he bought the whole family with their names on them. So Clark throws it off the tower and the dog in the lady's arms next to them jumps after it to "fetch" it. If you watch close, the dog does catch it half way down.

4. Die Hard - The original with Bruce Willis and Alan Rickman was just about the best action movie ever. Alas, it contained about 50 F words among other colorful language and violence. You know this movie has to be left behind when the catch phrase for the hero contains the F word in it. In some ways this movie helps me now to be better with my movie selections. Most action movies do not measure up to this one or even come close. So if I can't watch this one, I don't have that much desire to watch any others that pale in comparison.

3. Baby Got Back - Don't lie. If you went to high school or college in the early 90s and you heard those two stuck up valley girls start talking, you practically ran to get your spot on the dance floor so you could shake your thang. This was one of the best dance songs ever! But I declare that I did not clearly listen to the words closely. Because when we first moved back to Thatcher five years ago, I convinced Shannon to let me get Satellite Radio. Not long after that, this song came on one of the stations and I was literally shocked at the words. It was one of the few times that my mouth literally fell open subconsciously. Needless to say, this song is not on my ipod or allowed anywhere in my house. (This reminds me of the time that I heard Christina Aguillera's Candy Man on a TV commercial. I love Big Band music and so I downloaded it. Needless to say, the TV commercial left out some parts I should have heard before I downloaded it. To think I had originally got it because I thought it would be a cute song for a wedding video. Yeahhhh, not so much.)

2. Planes, Trains and Automobiles - I went back and forth on the the top two because all the others I don't miss at all. But these two movies really are funny and right or wrong, I miss them. This movie has the only scene that made me quite literally cry with laughter for about 10 minutes. It is when Steve Martin has been "helped" up outside the rental car area of the airport and then he and John Candy are in the car right after that while Steve Martin's character is still feeling the effects of the "help". The voice he makes just absolutely kills me. Quite a few of you will have never seen what I am talking about and when they show it on TV, they generally cut so much to get in commercials that they ruin this scene. But you will just have to take my word on it. What makes me the most angry is that this movie would be rated PG 13 if it weren't for one scene where Steve Martin drops the F bomb about 15 times. Unnecessary scene that could have been left out. Oh well. Favorite quotes:

"Del, where is your other hand?"

"Between two pillows."

"THOSE AREN'T PILLOWS!!!!"

or

"You are like a Chatty Cathy doll that pulls her own string. YAHH, YAHH, YAHHHH"

or

"You are going the wrong way!"

"They are drunk, how would they know where we are going."

or

"Sorry about the beer that spilled all over your side of the bed. Who knew a vibrating bed would do that to a six pack?"

1. Major League - I am sorry, I know this is an admission of my failure as human being but this movie is one of my favorites. And the sad part is, this movie is not as funny without the swearing. It would be like Gus saying "Heck No" on Psych. It just doesn't work. And some of the best jokes, while not sexually motivated, just aren't appropriate like the manager's reaction when Corbin Bersen points out the clause in his contract that says he doesn't have to do anything non-baseball related. I can see them all in my head right now. Willie Mays Hayes sliding into second base and coming up two feet short; the exchanges between the catcher and the hitters; Charlie Sheen saying he feels like a banker when they go to a fancy restaurant and he is sitting there in a shirt, tie and jacket that have had the sleeves ripped off. So many funny lines. The best though is Bob Eucker. His announcing the games is off the charts. When Charlie Sheen throws four feet behind a batter, "JUUUUUUST A Bit Outside." I suppose my draw to this movie is like on Frasier when Bebe talks about how wonderful smoking is. She describes the whole thing in great detail to the point that even those who have never smoked are now intrigued. I won't watch this movie again. But I really want to. Oh well.

This post is already 5 times too long, but today is my wonderful wife's birthday. She used to love birthdays, now she wishes we would forget they exist. I won't say how old she is, but I will say, Happy Birthday Shannon. I love you very much and there is no other person two years younger than me that I would want more. And I am 37. (PS: There is no one of any other age that I would want more either. Just clarifying.) (PSS: I finished this post on October 19, which is Shannon's b-day, not October 15, which is the date that it shows this was posted.)

The Good, The Proud and The Ugly

First off, even though it was a couple of weeks ago, I recently went on a four day trip to Chicago. Alas, it was not for fun and it was a solo trip. Although Shannon's good friend Anna (the only other person I know who would definitely have experience in this matter) might disagree, shopping up and down Michigan Avenue just isn't a lot of fun by yourself. (The one exception to this is the Nike store. Holy Cow that place is awesome.) I did eat pretty well and the weather was absolutely wonderful (78 degrees when I left and 102 in Phoenix when I landed), but all in all, I didn't get out of the hotel very much. The exception being one night when I went to a client dinner with the publishers of our hospital quarterly mailer. I got to meet Ashley, my associate publisher whom I have worked with for over a year but never met and found out that she googles her clients and has actually read this blog. So a shout out to Ashley if she is reading this. Also, I was seated next to a couple from Texas. They were very friendly and during the course of our conversation I discovered that he is a golfing buddy of George W. Bush. I mean, love him or hate him, how cool would it be to be a golfing buddy of a former president. Especially that one who always had his claim to fame being that he was a president who people felt was like a regular guy. Very nice evening. The other night consisted of a lot of ESPN watching. On the last day, just before returning to the airport, I took the time to run out and get a picture of Lake Michigan for Braden who wanted to see what it looked like and then I ventured over to get a picture of Wrigley Field. So below are pictures of the view from right outside my hotel and then Lake Michigan and Wrigley.













The craziest thing to me was that Wrigley is literally right in the middle of a neighborhood. The picture of Harry Carrey's Tavern and the shot of the stadium from the 7-11 parking lot are taken from the exact same place just rotating my body. And yes, those are houses right next to the tavern. And I complain about the traffic I deal with in front of my house on 1st Avenue in Thatcher. Can you imagine game day in Chicago? Yuck! The front shot of Wrigley is taken from a McDonald's parking lot right across the street. Not a fancy McDonald's, just a regular Mickey D's. With my only experience with professional sports stadiums being Bank One...excuse me Chase Field, US Airways Center and ASU stadium, Wrigley Field was downright surreal to me. Anyway, pretty cool to see the sign that once read, "SAVE FERRIS".

CHANGING GEARS

Whenever I come home from the Priesthood session of conference, Shannon always asks me how it was and I always reply that it was awesome or amazing or some other superlative of that nature. (I have never written the word superlative in a sentence before. Feeling pretty proud of myself at the moment. I hope I have the definition right.) I answer this way because it always is. So when she asked me this last saturday evening, I needed some other answer because the same ol same ol would not have sufficed. So I responded, "Life changing." Looking back, maybe that wasn't the right response, because they should all be life changing, but the perspective I gained was certainly life altering in that I will feel ashamed to revert to thinking similarly to the way I may have thought before that meeting.

I refer specifically to two different talks that were given. The first was by Elder Juan Uceda and the second was by President Uchtdorf. Elder Uceda's talk was piercing and all too familiar in its descriptions of an event that mirrored some that have occured in my own home. He spoke of a father wanting to enforce a righteous principal of scripture reading with his family. When his daughter resisted, he raised his voice in righteous indignation declaring, "In my home, we will always read the scriptures." His daughter ran from the room. In the end, the humbled father went to his daughter's room and found her crying. Due to a prompting of the Spirit, he apologized. He simply said, "I am sorry. I did not mean to hurt you." He didn't try to expound on how he was actually right or explain why his actions were justified in trying to teach a righteous principal, he simply apologized. And then the Spirit returned.

I had lost my temper with Logan a few days previous and in my attempt to enforce good rules, I gave him a flick to the forehead. He cried. It wasn't the crying that stuck in my mind. It was that I don't do that often to my kids and in this situation, I was in the wrong. The vision I carried for the next several days was the look of betrayal and confusion on his face that immediately followed my actions. It was as if he was saying to me, "Dad, I thought we were buddies. Why would you do that to me?" After hearing this talk, I knew I needed to find the right time to follow Elder Uceda's counsel.

So last night for Family Home Evening, I taught the lesson and I told them the story from the talk. We talked about it for a little bit and I explained the definition of the natural man. Then, I pointed out a time to each child and my wife when I was wrong. When I had not been an effective father or husband. And I said, I'm sorry. Logan teared up and hugged me tightly. Braden began to cry and hugged even longer. Abby...well, she is 11 and very cool so she gave me the double head bob, but her small grin implied that she accepted my apology. One of the best moments I have ever had as a father occured that night. And it wasn't because of any amazing thing that I had done. It was because I followed Elder Uceda's counsel and took a heaping serving of humble pie.

It has caused me to look at President Uchtdorf's comments a little closer as well. For most of my life, I have been very politically aware. I have even at times described myself as rabidly conservative. I now look at our political landscape and the way it reflects back on me and I am not proud of what I see. When I said that the meeting was life changing to my wife, this is what I meant. Standing up and fighting for what I believe with a loud voice and clenched fist has gotten me very little. One of the best examples I can give is this:

When the lead singer of the Dixie Chicks, Natalie Maines, made her infamous comments about George W. in Britain, I was right there with much of America screaming for their heads. I vowed to never buy another Dixie Chicks album and was pleased as I watched their careers shatter. They had done wrong by me and my political beliefs and they needed to pay the proper price. Now, however many years later, I regret what happened to them. All along they claimed they were just exercising their freedom of speech and shouldn't be held accountable to the level they were. I rationalized that you have the right to free speech but not the reactions of those you speak to. In the end, we were both right. But the bottom line is this, I haven't heard any new Dixie Chicks music in years. I really like them. I still don't agree with what they said, but in hindsight, it was pretty minimal. And now, their careers are over and I get no new music from one of my favorite artistic groups. Who is the winner?

People who I would have said share my political beliefs can be seen everywhere espousing behavior I would never condone in a religious setting, but up until now, have been more than willing to accept in a political one. Bill O'Reilly's new book is entitled Pinheads and Patriots. Who is Bill O'Reilly to define patriotism and who gains anything by calling someone else a pinhead? Ann Coulter has a book entitled Treason. Rush Limbaugh has made the phrase, "Reaching across the aisle" a swear word. What good is coming of any of these caustic comments? These "prideful" commentaries of those with whom we disagree. Many on my side of the political spectrum would point out that the left is just as guilty if not more so. I would have made that same argument. In fact I have many times. Now my answer is, So What? I specifically now remember a teaching that an eye for an eye is not the correct course of action for one who would call themselves Christian.

My ramblings have become just that, ramblings. But for me, Saturday evening, October 2nd, was eye opening. And humbling. Oh so very humbling. My new year's resolution in October is: In all aspects of my life from family to work to politics to church, I am going to stand for what I believe. But I will do all I can not to offend in the process. Others may find offense in what I believe, and that is their choice. But I pray they find no offense in my manner or delivery. I will strive to see others as my brothers and sisters rather than my enemies. And in my personal or public situations, I will remember that the hardliners, a description I have used for myself in the past, ended up on the wrong side of the stories told by Matthew, Mark, Luke and John.

Mini Posts: "If Summer's Over Why Is It Still So $%&@ Hot!" Edition

So summer has wound down and the kids have returned to school. Nothing major has occured in our lives recently but we have had several of the little things pile up. When that happens, we go with the mini posts.




The Road To Hell Is Paved With Good Intentions, Or Maybe Concrete

The "Finishing The Front Of Our House Seven Year Plan" continued this last month as we finally did something with the south side of our driveway. For those unaware/unconcerned about what the south side of our driveway looked like up until now, it was empty dirt. There never were plans to do much there anyway other than someday we wanted to concrete the whole thing in and maybe add a basketball hoop. We are still hoopless (say it fast...there you go, I knew you would get it) but we finally got around to pouring concrete.

My friend Tommy Nicholas works for the Town of Thatcher and is somewhat of a concrete expert. The whole process started and had moved quickly forward in just one saturday. I had talked to Tommy the day before and he came by to "look" at what I was wanting to do. By the time that day was over, he had come over with a backhoe and dug out the area all around the house where we wanted to add a sidewalk and had started on the driveway area. Monday came and before I could get home from work, Tommy and Scott Lee, our Elder's Quorum President were already preparing the forms. (The joys of living in a small town as a Mormon. There are no secrets or things done quietly. I had no less than 15 people ask me what we were pouring in the back yard because they just happened to notice we were doing something back there.) By Thursday, Tommy was already on it and poured the first of three pours around the back and sides of the house. Later that night, Tommy, his brother John, Heath and I were preparing the forms for the other two pours. As the hour started to approach ten p.m., I felt a little bad for my neighbors. But apparently not bad enough as we didn't wrap it up until almost 11:30.

The next morning, we started at 5:30 and were ready for the cement truck at 7:00. I learned quickly that I don't know anything about concrete. I tried to get in and be helpful, but mainly tried not to get in the way. We finished the first pour by 11:00 a.m. then went and got lunch. I am pretty sure a manager was in the back room at Subway madly flipping through the process and procedures booklet trying to find a loophole that they could use to kick out these sweaty, smelly guys. It seems they did not find one as we were able to finish lunch in the nice air-conditioned restaurant.

I had been doing ok up to this point. When the cement truck came for the second pour at 1:00, it didn't take long to figure out that I am in no shape for this kind of manual labor. By 2:30, I was getting the cold shakes in the middle of 100 degree temps. I had drunk so much water and at least two sodas and had yet to pee that day. I was dying. By the end, all of us just got out of Tommy's way and let him finish it up because a) no one had any desire to pass out in the wet concrete and b) Tommy was getting hot and tired enough that had we passed out in the concrete, he would have just smoothed it over us and left us there.



Now that it is said and done, it was worth one day of death for a beautiful driveway. Much appreciation to our helpers that are all pictured here (including a shout out to Shannon and Rachel, Tommy's wife, for the ever important soda runs).







Kate Loves Old People

Really and truly, the title is really the post. Brother Daniel Robinson is a wonderful 93 year old man who is our Home Teacher. For whatever reason, Kate loves him. Whenever he comes to Home Teach, she just climbs up in his lap and will lovingly stroke his face (and of course play with his thumbnail just like she does with everyone's thumbnail). The other day at church, Shannon sat on the row with Bro. Robinson and Sister Southern (92) and she just climbed up and hugged Sister Southern and was quite a hit. So, unlike most two year olds who find old people scary, Kate loves them to death. Here is a picture from our last home teaching visit. Unfortunately, Brother Steve Allen, doesn't even hardly get a look from Kate. But then he is only in his 60s. Clearly way too young for her.



While Mom Is Away, The Children Will Play

Shannon traveled up to Snow Flake recently to visit her sister Melinda who just moved there as her husband got on as a teacher in the Snow Flake school system. They had a great time and here are some pictures of her and the kids (minus Abby) at the temple.







Due to the shortness of the trip and the fact that I couldn't leave until after work and then Abby had a cheer camp on Saturday, Abby and I stayed home. Of course, when mom isn't there to say no, things happen and so dinner consisted of Taco Bell and for the evening's entertainment, Abby and I watched Batman Begins. Abby loved it and assured me she was not scared at all. However, her baseball bat that she sleeps with occasionally made a reappearance that night.

Why Are You Walking Funny Dad?

The hospital will be hosting a bicycle event at the end of October along with a 1/2 marathon and other events. I don't know if the hoopla of the event or hanging out with guys who like bicycling is to blame, but it got me excited to take on another form of physical activity. I bought a bike.

At some point, someone should have reminded me that I have not ridden a bike since that fateful day less than a week after I arrived in the mission field in England and went on splits in an area with bikes. I had never ridden in the city prior to that day and am pretty sure I will never ride in the city again. Highlights of that day in Whitefield include getting McDonald's and trying to carry my meal and soda on the handlebars of the bike (half of the soda didn't make it and my big mac could have been renamed a tortilla mac) and having a semi truck brush my leg as it was going by. I was pretty sure my life would end at some point that day.

Prior to that, I rode a bike quite a bit growing up. However, someone should also have pointed out that I do not weigh the same as I did in grade school. Or as I did on my mission for that matter. Shannon recently got a road bike and I tried to get up on that thing a few days ago and felt like I was an orange trying to balance on a pencil.

But I ordered one anyway and went and picked it up. Now to be fair, Shannon's is a road bike and mine is a hybrid which means it has a little more base to it. The key word there is little. I took it out on its maiden ride with Braden. We started down the driveway and Braden says, "You are doing so good dad." I am glad he is easily impressed. He asks, "Is it cool?"

"Sure is son." If you consider maiming yourself fun. I think I am going to fall. I can picture my head scraping along the pavement at any minute. Whose stupid idea was it to get a bike anyway?

"You are really good dad."

"Thanks son." Has he seen another adult actually ride a bike. Surely his comparison pool has to be pretty small as I am positive I resemble a Barnum and Bailey Circus clown. Wasn't I able to take one hand off the handle bars at some point in my life?

But then I realized I actually was doing ok. More than that, it was pretty fun. So, if I can just get over how badly my pelvic bones are hurting right now, I think this is going to be a positive thing.



Laborless Day

After a very rough Saturday at our house to start the Labor Day weekend, (suffice it to say, some children spent more time being punished than...well anything else) we decided that our children had spoken and we needed to heed their message. They complained that every Saturday we work and require them to do...work, and it just isn't right. So we told them that in spite of the many things that needed to be done, we would declare Labor Day, FUN DAY! We asked what they wanted to do and they started with bowling. We explained that we were trying not to spend a lot of money. So they suggested a movie at the theatre. Again, not too much money. But then they finally got where we were going and we came up with quite the schedule.

We started with waffles for breakfast. Not Eggo's, real waffles from a waffle maker. Made by an expert waffle maker. (I don't know who is responsible for bestowing the title of expert, but as I have not had any complaints about my waffles, I will run with the title until I am told I can't.) Next, we played Settlers of Cataan. This was Braden's choice and we all had a great time, especially the expert Settlers of Cataan player who dominated from the first roll. (Some might say I should not brag about beating up on children who haven't really played before. but those people aren't here to actually say those things so I choose not to listen to what some might say.)





Next, we had a Wii Frisbee contest. Logan was master of the day in this contest. Mom actually came on strong at the end and then for an unexplainable reason completely flubbed her last throw to lose by just 10 points to Logan. Tough break Mom.



After that, we headed to the back yard for a horse shoe contest. There is an ongoing point of contention in our home as to who the best horse shoe player is: me or my wife. Now Shannon would point out how she was winning at one point years ago when we had to quit before the game ended. But as the game never ended, clearly no one could be declared victor. Amazingly enough, we have never played head to head since that time. So I would correctly point out that I have never lost to Shannon so clearly we cannot say who is the better horse shoe player. And unfortunatley, this day would bring no clear answers. Shannon was on a team with Braden and I teamed up with Abby and Logan. So Abby and Shannon would throw on their side, and then Logan would throw one horse shoe and I would throw the other for our team while Braden would throw for theirs. At one point, our team was down 15-1. However, we made a strong comeback that fell just short and lost 21-13. Shannon would say that we lost 25 to 13 because she threw a ringer and a point on her last throw, but since it is only to 21, the final score correctly reads 21-13.





Next up, Abby had requested we have a cake decorating contest. Below, you can see the results and due to her exquisite use of color and of all the available resources, Abby was named the winner which meant that when we all went to the Oasis, everyone got to get a medium instead of a small of whatever they ordered.

















When we got back from the Oasis, we played Settlers one more time where Shannon won (the expert decided to lay off and let others have a chance...I am sure that is what happened), went on a family bike ride and then had cereal for dinner. The dirty dishes and laundry piled up (Acutally Shannon cheated and did both throughout the day to keep the damage to a minimum) and the lawn went unmowed, but we had a blast and have decided to make Labor Day/Fun Day an annual event.

Looking Back at 2009

Last year, I blogged that I do a family video each year that recaps our family's year in pictures and video. This year I have been very slow in getting the 2009 video done. Part of it has definitely been because of time, but 2009 wasn't the best year for us in several ways. So who knows, maybe unconsciously I have held off. But I am getting it done and thought I would share one of the sections from 2009's Rapier Family Video. As you might imagine, with the passing of my mom, she factors heavily into many aspects of the whole video this year. But especially in this one.

Utah Trip Days 6&7: Idaho Is Worth $4 and Pedro's Address

I have to admit. For whatever reason, this last full day in Utah was my favorite of the trip. I don't know if it was just me, but we all seemed a bit more relaxed and just let the day come to us. We had a very laid back time schedule and maybe that made all the difference. But either way, it was a fantastic day. It went something like this...

8:12 a.m. - Get up, get dressed, get down to breakfast. As this was very similar to every other day this week, we will move on.

9:35 a.m. - Braden has to use the facilities and can't make it back up to the room so he goes in the restroom right off of the lobby. I elect to wait for him...and wait...and wait...I go into check on him and he let's me know that he is working on it, but not to get in any hurry.

9:57 a.m. - Braden emerges. I think Braden needs to take a break from pizza after this trip for at least two weeks.

10:15 a.m. - We travel to Temple Square one last time. Upon arrival, I begin to wonder if Kate now equates Temple Square with misery as she begins to transform into Rosemary's baby yet again.

10:42 a.m. - Arnold Friberg, the artist responsible for painting all of the paintings used in the Book of Mormon, had passed away a little over a week earlier. So the tabernacle was closed as they prepared for his memorial service. So we made our way over to the South Visitors' Center which we had not made it to the previous day. I believe that Braden managed to touch every screen he was allowed to several times.

10:51 a.m. - Have to tell Abby for the second or third time to leave Kate alone.

10:59 a.m. - Make our way back to the North Visitors' Center so we can see the Christus one more time. Finally, along the way, I jump on Abby pretty hard about leaving Kate alone. After yelling (in subdued tones of course) at each other, I have had it and say, "Fine. She is all yours. You will have to deal with her when she gets out of hand. Your mom and I will not be there to help you." Don't you hate it when you get so clever about disciplining your children and it backfires. You believe they will come to you very shortly begging for you to take back the punishment they didn't realize was a punishment but what they were actually asking for in the first place...only this time, it totally didn't happen. Abby took care of Kate better than I had been. Early July and my Father of the Year 2010 hopes are in complete flames. Well, at least I made it to July right?





11:08 a.m. - We are looking at the Christus and we notice a man walk up to it and begin putting troll dolls on the base. He then stepped back and took a picture of them. So we took a picture of him. How could we not? I am getting the sense they probably see just about everything imaginable at Temple Square.



11:22 a.m. - We are wrapping up and I am waiting for everyone to finish when a Japanese sister walks up and is just taken with Kate. She tries to talk to me and...I can't understand a word she is saying. I try to talk back to her and she can't understand me either. Amazingly though, we hold a ten minute conversation. I only wish I had been privy to both sides of the conversation instead of just one.

1:08 p.m. - After a lunch of left over pizza (poor Braden...or maybe poor us. Not Sure!) we meet Jerry and we pile in the van to head for Logan. The only reason is that we have a son named Logan who desparately wants to have his picture taken in front of the Logan temple because it is "his" temple. He has a picture of it in his room even though no member of our family had ever been there. It is a beautiful day and the further we go, the more beautiful the scenery. By the time we hit Logan, I am ready to move there. Then Jerry reminds me that winter does not look kindly on this place.

2:47 p.m. - We arrive at the Logan Temple and it is...closed for renovation. Of course. But, we decide we have driven all this way, we are getting that picture one way or the other. We actually find an open gate and begin to wander the temple grounds. It is actually really nice that it was closed as no one was around including any construction workers. We stroll casually around and find the best sign of the day. See the picture below.



2:58 p.m. - Find the right spot to take pictures of Logan. Then we decide to play on the hills of grass. Kate just periodically decides she is going to throw a fit and does so a couple of times. However, it leads to one of my favorite pictures of the whole trip. Now see this picture below.









3:17 p.m. - Head to the campus of Utah State University. Just wanted to see it. Once we arrive I wonder why it was I wanted to attend ASU. The campus is just gorgeous. My wife gently reminds me yet again that it is summer and not winter and I should take it all in perspective. She has a point.



3:32 p.m. - Go to downtown Logan to get ice cream at the Blue Bird Cafe. This restaurant was established in 1914. Once inside it is very good to see that they have managed to hang onto most of their original patrons. The ice cream is delicious and we are able to make the very important bathroom stop.

3:57 p.m. - Just about every business in Logan is having a sidewalk sale. It is clearly a planned thing as every business has something out on the sidewalk. You will be stunned to know that as we were making our way back to the car, I lost Shannon. Had to backtrack and found her in a store that sold what can only be described as stylish women's wear that every dashing gent would certainly find to be just swell. I ask her why she is shopping in my grandmother's closet when she let's me know that they actually do have a white skirt that is pretty much what she has been looking for. While she is trying it on, Abby and I look at the jewelry. Gaudy and nothing available under $60. Ugly and expensive. I am liking this place more and more.

4:23 p.m. - Finally meet back up with Jerry who since he had to wait decided he might as well buy a pair of sandals. These are not just any sandals, they have a bottle opener on the bottom. I am silently cussing my luck that I got stuck in the Generation GAP while my brother was shopping at a place that sold shoes with awesome accessories. We load back in the van and head for Idaho. We are only 20 minutes away and I can't think of anything that is going to be pulling me back to Idaho in this lifetime. If I really want to hit all fifty states before I die, we have to take advantage of opportunities like this.

4:51 p.m. - Hit the Idaho border and just like the tourists we are, we hop out and get a picture under the Welcome To Idaho sign. Smells like cows. No earth shattering judgement, just an observation.



5:02 p.m. - On the way to Idaho, Jerry mentions that Utahans will drive across the Idaho border to get lottery tickets. Hadn't thought of that. Suddenly the sign in Fredonia, Arizona makes more sense now that placed such a high value on Lotto. Since this is somewhat of a local custom (I do recognize that we are stretching the limits of the definition of local custom) I drive into Franklin, ID and stop at the first convenience store where I purchase a lottery ticket. I ask the clerk to give me any ticket that says Idaho on it. She tells me they all say Idaho on them unless I want the $20 ticket that has Idaho in big letters. I assure her that the Idaho State Lottery symbol in the corner is sufficient. She asks why I care about Idaho being on the ticket. I explain that I am from Arizona and have never been to Idaho before. This immediately animates my clerk and the clerk next to her. She asks, "Have you ever seen Napolean Dynamite?"

I don't want to admit to being the only person in the Mormon Belt who has never seen (nor desired to see) that movie so I say yes.

She says, "I live in Pedro's house." This means nothing to me so I look at her blankly and she says, "Well, I mean the house they used when they filmed the outside of his house. Here, you can go see it." At which point she writes her address on the back of the receipt. I thank her very much and go out to the car. Shannon sees the receipt and asks, "What is that."

"Pedro's address."

Now Shannon has seen the movie but apparently this explanation doesn't suffice so I explain the whole conversation to which Shannon says, "So she just wrote her address on your receipt?"

"Yep."

"That's just weird." Which is true. Shockingly, we do not make the trip to go see Pedro's house. However, my lottery ticket was a winner. I won $4 on a $2 ticket. Unfortunately, the store is very busy and not really worth the time to get $2. (Sigh)

7:11 p.m. - Now we head to Layton, UT where the Davis Arts Council holds their Summer with Stars fund raising concerts. Kirt is the director of the Davis Arts Council and has gotten us free tickets to the Larry Gatlin and the Gatlin Brothers that night. Shannon and I are pretty excited as these guys remind both of us of our youth.

7:32 p.m. - Dinner is served at the amphitheater in the form of either hamburgers or hot dogs. When we finally get to the counter, they are running low on hamburgers so we make them a deal. Logan doesn't like hamburgers. (I know, believe me I know.) So we agree not to take a hamburger for his meal if they will give us two buns with cheese. I am sure both parties walked away from that transaction thinking, "Sucker!"

8:00 p.m. - Concert starts. I had been looking forward to this, but had no idea how much I would enjoy it. I forgot how many songs of theirs I knew and they are very good showman. After about 4 songs, the kids got tired, but Jerry (whose love of Country Music has never really materialized) offered to take them to the park right next door so Shannon and I got to enjoy the concert by ourselves. We absolutely loved it. Highlights included the audience singing All The Gold In California, the jokes made at the expense of those who arrived late and remembering all these songs I had forgotten I knew. One new song we had never heard before was "Johnny Cash is Dead and His House Burned Down". It was an uplifting motivational song.





9:30 p.m. - Say goodbye to Kirt and head back to the hotel.

10:45 p.m. - Get everyone down and call it a night.

The next day consisted of driving, driving and more driving. While the GPS said we should be on the road for about 8.5 hours, it ended up being closer to 11 before we pulled into Flagstaff to stay at my cousin Shauna's house. Highlights included:

-Being stopped by a head-on collision outside of Paige, AZ and having to wait while it got cleared off. It woke Kate up. Crap.

-Ate at Nedra's Too and the lights were out in the bathroom. It brought to mind new words to an old country song. "You and me going whizzing in the dark." I can see why they went with the words they did.

-Shannon called her mom and found out the easy job we had asked them to do of feeding Buddy while we were gone had turned into a nightmare. In Marilyn's words, "Why didn't you ask for something easier like measuring the wind?" He escaped daily and led them on many wild goose chases.

-Logan peed on the side of the highway in the dark. How could it not end that way.

We finally made our way home Sunday evening after church in Flagstaff and lunch at Shauna's. It was a great vacation, but we were ready to be home. No one more so than Kate.