Who Gave The Authorization For It To Be Christmas Already

As I sit here, I am trying to calm myself before my head detaches itself from my neck and shoots around the room like an untied balloon. Shannon will be the first to tell you I may not be the best at handling stress. I tend to get a bit exercised about things. Some might call it over reacting, others might even refer to my outbursts as "freaking out". I would say those descriptions are a tad bit dramatic...in fact I would even say that they might be a bit unfair...REALLY UNFAIR! I am a perfectly in control person who just shows a little bit of passion when it comes to several things I deem important hitting me at once. Now where in the Crap did I put that freaking 2007 W2 statement that I need. Every FREAKING time I need something I can't find it because we just put things where they dont' belong. I know it isn't me, because I always put things where they belong so it has to be those dang kids. (I might even accuse my wife at this point, but even when I am out of control I recognize there are lines you don't cross. Having said that, Shannon will tell you that my insinuations are that yes it is her fault and that probably isn't an unfair statement. So where were we) Why was it we had four kids again? I can't remember because I can't find one dang thing that would remind me along with anything I could possibly freaking need at this moment. I don't care that I may not be making any sense whatsoever. If anybody TRULY cared they would find a way to understand I am saying. I can find a Christmas card from 2004, but a financial document that will affect our future dramatically, OF COURSE NOT!!!! This is Ridiculous. THIS IS CRAP, THIS IS TOTAL BS!!! Oh wait, here it is. (Now see, how can any of that be considered freaking out. I just don't see it.)

So what is putting me in this frame of mind this wonderful holiday season? I have taken on way to much without realizing until this morning that Christmas is 6 days away. How did that happen? Now I am going to admit something that if I am confronted with later, I will totally deny. I did most of this to myself.

First of all, as previously mentioned, I put videos together for people to celebrate anniversaries, birthdays, weddings or whatever. I make this process way harder than it has to be. I agonize trying to find what I consider the perfect song for the pictures or video segment I am working on. Most people would probably have an easy answer and move on because a lot of different songs will work. I am too picky. Last night is a perfect example. I am putting a video together that pretty much was going smoothly, but then I hit a snag. I need a song that encapsulates the mood of being with family both during every day memories as well as milestone events. Easy you might say, but wait, there is more. I would have solved this long ago. The problem is, the main recipient of this video is an older couple who may not appreciate a rock or pop song. Shannon said, no problem, use "Through the Years" by Kenny Rogers. Good suggestion, but one problem. I hate that song. I hate the melody, I hate the schmaltziness, I just hate it in general. I may still have to use it, but I will exhaust every other option. So she and I spent about 4 hours last night looking for the right song. She found the right song about 10 different times. I always found something wrong. By 11 p.m. we were so depressed, we gave up and went to bed. Do you realize how many people want to say in song to those they love, "I sure am glad I have you, because the rest of my life sucks." It got so bad, I was half way considering something by Sly and the Family Stone.

Also on our plate, in the middle of everything else, I get a great idea. Why don't we refinance our house because we can get a 4.85% rate on a 30 year fixed. That may not sound like a bad idea. It really isn't until you put it smack dab in the middle of 5 doctors we are trying to recruit to the hospital come to town in one week. Having to host a leadership class at the hospital for a day and therefore losing access to my computer. Christmas concerts, Christmas parades and Christmas parties all of which Shannon has had to take the lead on. And, in case anyone else may have missed this, IT'S 6 DAYS UNTIL CHRISTMAS!!! I am so stupid.

Add to the above that I still need to get some Christmas presents and every time I think I will have some to get to that, my time gets eaten up by the other activities I have taken on. (I need to stop for a moment, my head is feeling that pressure again simply from describing everything....ok, my pulse is back under 200, I think we're fine for the moment.)

So today, I am trying to remember just how good I have it and not freak out, or whatever anyone wants to call it. I need to remember how blessed I am. First of all, I am blessed because we are celebrating our Savior's birth. Without Him, nothing else matters. Second, I could have it worse. My wife is having to deal with all of this (most of which I created) while also dealing with the root canal from hell. Without getting into too many details, she had her second visit of what should have been a one visit procedure and discovered she will have to go back again, multiple times. She is dealing with pain and yet handling everything, including my tantrums, like a trooper. Lastly, (I am seriously tearing up as write this...I am not joking.) A guy roughly my age down the street lost his wife this week. I can't even begin to describe how horrible I feel for him and his four kids. When I even try to put myself in their situation, I can't begin to think about it because it is too hard. My life may have its stresses, but for now, I have my wonderful wife and wonderful kids and we are healthly and together. That is enough. That is more than enough. That is everything.

So let's bring 2008 to a close. It has been a tough year for a lot of people. Let's do it by celebrating the life of He who allows us the opportunity to be with our families for eternity. Because for some, that knowledge is all they have. Our hearts and prayers go out to the Curtis family.